Chanel.

So the date? You wanna know about it? Yeah? You do?

Too bad. Maybe I'll include some sneaky little details throughout this blog, but you may just have to read and find out. You'll have to run yourself through the daily ramblings of my life for a bit!

I'm sitting at High Point, and yes, I heard the boy with the seducing voice sing. I was really late and so I missed alot of his show, but I gave him a big wave afterwards and he came marching up, free CD in hand. I wrapped him in a hug i don't think he expected and I'm sure the best part of my later night will be indulging my ears in my newest CD. I finally learned his name too....Jordan :).

Right now there's a boy singing a song with some massive passion behind it. The main lyric being.

" I kissed a drunk girl....wooo hooooo......I kissed a drunk girl."

I love it.

I stayed in bed most of the day, as I haven't been feeling th greatest, until I decided I really needed/wanted to go get my nails done. Te green was bugging me, and I wanted black, so I went tanning, showered, curled and hit the freeway. I rather enjoy traveling via highway every where I go. It's quicker and my need for speed and passing is always fulfilled.

I arrived at my shopping center of choice, Southtowne. There is so many within miles of me but this one has my favorite little Vietnamese Nail Lady; Jenny :). Before I made it to the shop, my eyes locked on a purchase I've been wanting for toooo long, a Chanel Designer Bag. It sounds illy to drop dollars on a creatively pieced together scrap of fabric, but I just can't help to want what I want. Moge & I had always joked that someday our loving boyfriends would get us those designer bags we always wanted. As I'm boyfriendless, and have been boyfriendless for coming upon a year, I knew it was time to take things into my own hands. Right?

Right.

I'm the proud new owned of a Chanel purse and matching wallet.

I love Love LOve LOVe LOVE it!

I got my nails done, bought some cute new jeans, and now here I sit.

In other news, Moge has Meningitis and I'm incredibly worried about her. If she gets worse, I'm driving to Oregon regardless of my job. I just can't leave her in a hospital without having her Bestie there.

Okay, the date. The boy, Matt, was cuter then when I had seen him the day before. We met for coffee and he was late. Of course, I'm not shy about my obsession with accountability and he apologized.

It's okay, you can say it, I'm a bitch. Heh. Oh well.

Anyways, he didn't want coffee and decided we need to see a movie. I wanted to see Shutter, him some boy-action movie, and we decided on a late showing of Shutter. We roamed, ate some food, and I even met his friends who later texted him to say I was beautiful and a good choice. It's nice to make brownie points with friends. We played 20 questions about each other and set off for the show. The movie was okay, not as good as I wanted it to be, and he snuck his hand into mine when walked to my car. I went to drive him back to his really cute 2005 Audi, I got lost, and we ended the night with a sweet little hug and a peck on the cheek.

Now for the gritty.

He's gorgeous, just the looks in a guy I really like. Dark haired and eyed, nice body, tall, and has some interesting ethnicity as both his grandparents are from Spain. He's funny, sarcastic, harassing, and takes my subtle teasings. I had to poke at him, make sure he wasn't a whiner or a sissy, and he only through it back, which kept me interested.

Now i realize it's the first date, and forgive me for overanalyzing, but we have some differences. He's, a party animal. He throws them, goes to them, looks for them, probably 70% of his non-sleeping life. He wanted to make lots of money someday, and when asked what his single most important life goal was, that was it. Granted, I wanna make boo-koo dollars someday too, family, motherhood and super-wife status are my always my bottom line. I can tell he's stubborn and he admitted to the fact that he's never had a real relationship; that is just never worked out the right way for him. He's living at home as he had some issues with some roommates and he's starting his own business, a business someone convinced him would make him millions. There's a few, or maybe alot, of other things he mentioned, that set off small alarms in my brain.

Yep. I'm young, I don't need to be fitting this boy for marriage, but I can't help but be a little taken a back. I always put myself in positions with boys who cause me trouble, and he just seems like he's another challenge. Yah, he's cute, sweet throughout the date, would be a fun person to party with, and has a smile I adore. But at the same time, I see him challenging me later on.

Silly bad boys.

All in all, I'm going to see him again later on this week. He up and decided today to drive to Nevada to see a friend and so I have more time to sit and think on it.

I gotta get him, Im'a watch a scary movie. And listen to my CD :)

<3 you. Shan.

Taxes & a Boy.

It was incredibly hard to get outta bed this morning. I’m not sure why, but I had the same amount of energy that I had after an asthma attack. I had to literally “roll” myself outta bed this morning. My brain as so confused with drowsiness that I almost convince myself to call in sick, but then I thought of my friend Dan who is ridiculously ill and still going to work and I couldn’t bring myself to even think of calling in. I got up, took a very long shower, got dressed, and now here I sit, posting cash at work. I’m wondering if I’m starting to drift into anemia again. I’m constantly tired, getting the black circles, and nauseous; all symptoms of the iron deficiency I had as a kid. Time for the good ol’ blood work again! Thank goodness it’s Friday and thank goodness it’s payday! It’s going to be so nice NOT to have to pay my bills with a credit card this month.

So last night? Was heavenly. I started doing my own taxes and to my shock, I calculated that I owed somewhere around $700.00. Yep that’s right, not a refund but OWED. After overanalyzing and double checking my form numerous times and calling for advice, I finally broke down and made an appointment for someone to do my taxes. I knew H & R Block wouldn’t charge me unless I actually filed with them and so they were the way to go. After a good 10 hour day at work to catch up on my desk-mess, I ran a few errands and ended up on the doorstep of H & R Block. My Tax Preparer was none other then the real life version of Will Ferrall’s character from Stranger Than Fiction. I kid you not, no over exaggeration. Not married, perfectly starched collar, spiffy watch, crazy with numbers, awkward jokes, and just the same general mannerisms. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself.

I told him right off that I would not pay unless he found my taxes done incorrectly and in some way or another, I owed less money. Sadly, he reviewed my handy work and found it to be absolutely correct. I owed boo-koo bucks and it was time for the tears to start flowing. I know, I cry so randomly. I cry when I get pulled over, I cry when I’m INREDIBLY mad, and I cry when there is something I absolutely cannot talk my way out of. This time, being the last reason. Now last year, I made $20,000.00. That is not bad for a single girl living and working no her own in a small town. However, on a larger scale that is not much in the real world and tax brackets and I was also a full-time college student. How on earth could the government me charging a 19 yr. old single college student with that income, $700.00 in taxes? That’s weak. It turns out, the Ambassador program had not deducted nearly the amount they were supposed to deduct over the year and the one month I had worked helping a friends restaurant didn’t deduct any. Thus, my big fat owing. I then remembered something my preparer had mumbled about my 1098-T’s (college tax reports), that in Oregon, a certain amount paid out of pocket for tuition can be completely refunded. I had paid for everything that I know of via scholarship but a little but, but as some of my scholarships were personal checks after the dollars were deposited into my account, WOU recorded on my 1098-T that I had paid out of topic for my tuition! About 1200.0 of my tuition was refunded to me which covered the taxes I owed and my preparers fee and left me somehow with like a $300.00 refund! I paid extra to have everything expedited so I could hold onto my piece of mind, and ran out the door jumping and smiling. Sure, I could be sitting with a fat check if they had just taken out the right amount initially, but who cares, I don’t owe taxes and I can continue back on the path to paying my credit cards and getting back on my feet after the WOU disaster. I will never, ever again do my own taxes.

I also met a boy yesterday and I’m only blogging about him as I feel the need to blog about every little detail of my life. One of our Customer Service ladies has been pestering me about my relationship status for some time now and I had initially told her I was single and not interested. She asked me how could that be, a young girl like myself not looking around, and I simply told her my heart was floating somewhere in Oregon and I wasn’t ready to move past that yet. It’s stupid I know, and everyone knows why it’s in Oregon, but regardless of that situation, I’m just not ready anyways. After a good morning of friendly hints, I finally told her that she “knows where my office is” if she really wanted me to meet her son. Later that afternoon she comes to my office to notify me that he will be in later that afternoon and snatches my phone to put his number in it. Of course, I know she won’t be able to figure out my handy iPhone and she gives up unaccomplished. The boy stops in later and he’s absolutely the cutest boy I’ve seen outside the gym since I arrived here. However, he word vomits. In mere moments I found out about his party lifestyle and a few bad habits I wasn't fond of. So cute, yet so dense. At the mom's request, I agreed to have coffee with him. He thought it was crazy to be having coffee late at night, but then I explained it was common nature in Oregon.

And not, here I sit, upon my tall chair at High Point, awaiting CuteDense Boy. While waiting, I saw the boy I blogged about some time ago; the one with the beautiful voice. He had used my computer at one point to maquest himself somewhere and he saw and asked if it was indeed I who had lended him my technology. I smiled, nodded, and we sank into casual conversation. I told him he certainly owed me a CD and he assured me if I came and saw him tomorrow at Open Mic, I would get one. Raise your hands now, who knows where I will be Saturday night? Give you one guess. He sang a lovely song, and left with a friend, but not without a second assurance that I would be there tomorrow.
The boy is here, ADIOS!

And she said: Stupid, Stupid Girl.

Some good advice written specifically about me. The writer exploited my biggest weakness and fully grasped that weakness in the last sentence. Reading this aloud, was a realization all it's own. Thanks for trying, it surely made me think. So much, I wanted to share it.
-Shan


Dear Girl.

I want to share something with you. Please, as always, understand my blatant honesty. Here goes:

Say no to complications crazy girl; and that nasty heartache to! Find a nice boy, someone who comes with ease, not someone who fights you but surely "loves you too". Don't ask "Why not, What if, What it could be?"and don't lust for something that could easily become a smack in the face.

Stop.

He doesn't want you.

Run away, pretty girl.

What has happened to your common sense? To the logic that points wildly in the direction opposite of you? Are your eyes closed or are you ignorantly blinding yourself? Stop, pick up your heart and what's left of your pride, cry it out, and remove yourself from the situation.

Must you always chase the troubled? I used to believe you sought out the hearts of those who, sometimes unbeknownst even to themselves, needed you the most. Those who could use a kind, spontaneous, beautiful soul such as yours. But they misuse you and even worse... you walk plainly elsewhere when someone who will offer you the world...smiles your way.

You girl? Are a stupid girl.

I have known you all my life and one thing about you is certain, you are always self-aware to yourself, your life, decisions and actions. You dear, know exactly what you are doing at every moment and often are just that much more inadvertently aware of others.

And that is, and listen good now, the absolute stupidest part about you. You know you fall upon heartache with all warning and awareness of your own actions, and yet you never seem to give up on those who in one selfish light or another, wouldn't give you half of what your heart could give them in mere moments.

Maturity, beyond your silly giggles, pranks and outbursts, has always been your gift; a present for a life grown up much to fast.

Don't ignore that gift when it comes to love and don't be foolish. Remove your heart from your sleeve and stop clouding your judgment; he will never give you what you will give him.

And if he does? I'll eat my words. But I don't see him running to you, in fact, all I see is you trailing far, far behind.

Stupid.

I've shared something with you. And sadly, I know you're not listening.

Home from Oregon.

I've yet to finish my long an extensive blog from Oregon, tomorrow on lunch maybe. Right now, this is what I know.

1. I'm ecstatic to have wifi at my house now.
2. My body is sick of time changes, even of just an hour.
3. I miss a good bed to sleep on.
4. I hate the smell of air freshener in my room.
5. I'm going to fall asleep and or/drown in work tomorrow.
6. I'm absolutely the brokest I have ever been. Can't wait for Friday's FAT paycheck.
7. I really really really need to update my myspace profile.
8. I need to clean my room.
9. I miss Oregon.
10. I miss him. Social Burn - Leaving Song. You didn't take the hint or just didn't take the offer.

Stay tuned for the big ol' blog tomorrow.

Social Burn-Leaving Song.

Forget the things I said last night
Cause I was wrong and you were right
I can't believe the things I say to you sometimes

Cause 24hrs till I go away
They want me over there
So I can't stay
So I say make the best of the time we have

[chorus]
[[Hold on to me tonight]]
Cause this could be the last time
[[Hold on to me forever]]
My friends think that I should be out hangin around their local bars
What's wrong with this town?

All I really want or need is you

There's 24hrs. till I have to leave
Then I'm off to see what I can see
It's my job, don't take it personally

[chorus]
[lead break]
Forget the things I said last night
Cause I was wrong and you were right
[chorus x2]

Morning Mumbles.

Gym Update: I officially hate Pilates. It’s too hard, makes my back hurt, whine whine whine. I have one more class before I’m allowed to even think about switching to something more friendly like Hip Hop, but geeze I hate it. I failed last night and ate fast food; that didn’t take long now did it? Honestly there was nothing in the house I could cook/wanted to eat and I was to tired even if there was substance. I indulged, and packed. My lord, you’d think I was moving back with the amount I can fit into an over-sized duffle bag. This is another aspect of my life where my slight OCD comes in. If I don’t have something I want, when I want to have it (say a cute green top I wanna wear instead of a cute white one) I become obsessive about it. Hence, my shopping habits…heh. So my duffle bag is the size of one you would store all your football gear in and it’s absolutely enormous and impossible for me to carry. Getting to the max will be tricky…for sure. I slept awful, waking up a lot again, and woke at 6:20 instead of 6:00 am. I still had to shower, finish the little bit of packing I couldn’t do till the morning, and run around like crazy. This morning was too much! Hair wouldn’t curl, face wash wouldn’t open, duffle bag wouldn’t close, traffic wouldn’t get the hell outta my way (despite my obscenities), coffee tasted burnt and I was 5 minutes late to work. My desk is piled high and I just got off a TWO HOUR conference call that explained a new program to replace something else I had just finally gotten the hang of, friends are calling me giving me new tasks to accomplish, people to call, things to do for St Paddy’s to work, and yet I sit here….blogging listening to Colbie Caillet. Sometimes I wonder how much further ahead I would be in life if I didn’t always do as I pleased, want who I wanted, and do what I do, when I want to do it. Hmmm thoughts for another day, yeah.

However, regardless of all the crazy this morning, there is nothing really that can bring me down. I am flying in less then 6 hours to Oregon. I can’t wait to breath Oregon air, waive and see Oregon people, and hug a tree there is so many more of them there then in Utah! Tomorrow? I get to see my best (guy) friend on the whole planet, Mesa, and spend and evening kicking it with his rockin family. The next day? Party in the streets of P-Town, gussied up and ready to dance with almost all of the people I’ve chosen to stay in contact with. Sunday? Well, that day is left to be planned as my previous plans hung up on me. Monday & Tuesday, family and possible snowboarding. Oregon is just gunna rock.

Anyways, I’m out. Peace Easy Yo.

Shan

rambling.

Last nights Pilates kicked my ass. I never though it would be that strenuous or hard on my body. I’ll admit, I eyed my class before starting and most of them were my size or bigger and I assumed most of them were in the same mediocre shape I was in. Wrong. These ladies were Pilate Pro’s. They smiled and humored my inexperience and assured me it would get easier. The instructor, a humorous Asian lady who cracked jokes inbetween poses, made me promise before we began that I take the class three times in succession before I decided to completely hate it. I agreed so next Monday I will be suffering through another Pilates class.

All in all, I’m loving my gym experience. Believe it or not, I feel like I’m seeing results. I really have great metabolism and I only gain weight because I eat whatever I want when I want without thinking repercussions. In high school, my weight would jump +10/-10 lbs in just a week and the Doctors always said it was just a strange metabolism. Lately, my weight has stayed the same and it’s not the number I want it to be. Just working out this week and not eating like a piggy, I’m down 6lbs. I’m still eating three meals a day but I think the exercise gave my metabolism the extra kick it needed. It’s nice. Anti-Gym Chick is finally feeling the satisfaction she always saw everyone else get from the gym but sadly, never understood until now. Go Me.

Okay, so the St. Paddy’s Day Bash is getting me stressed out! Agh, it makes OCD a hard thing to live with…I tell yah! So many changes in flights, cancellations, time changes. Can’t we all just be simple? The whole idea is to meet in Beaverton so we can take as few cars as possible. Parking in Portland, specially on a Holiday weekend, SUCKS. It looks like it’s going to be Chris, Dave, Jose, Morgan, Trish, & Myself for sure. Maybe Hayley, Kymmi, Krystal & Alex. Dinner, Clubbin, Hotel, Drink. Simple yeah, if everyone was on the same time schedule.

Shit my desk is piling up. Peace Yo.

Anti Gym Chick.

So. You must be wondering how Anti-Gym chick survived her first night right?

I’ll be absolutely honest…

Are you ready for this?

I loved it.

I walked in, new pink Yoga mat in hand, asked for a tour and how to get my Yoga class, and this sweet little blonde really helped me out. I toured the facility, eyed some mancandy, and eventually sat down on my Yoga class. My instructor was Susan and I had a good chat with her beforehand about my lack of any gym experience ever and she assured me she’d keep an eye on me. As cheesy as it sounds, I really got into it! The relaxing music, the crazy moments, the deep breathing, it was so relaxing yep incredibly challenging at the same time. My prior flexibility (Go Cheerleading!) really helped, but it was defiantly difficult. For example, imagine me doing a handstand against the wall, but instead of my feet in the air, moreso an “L” shape against the wall, holding my own body weight. Then for different time intervals, moving my feet down the wall but keeping my arms in the same place making a smaller gap between my upper body and lower body while still holding myself up. It was surely challenging, but I had an amazing feeling of accomplishment afterwards from doing it. By the end of the class, when we went to warm-down and relax through meditation, my body was shaking all over from pushing myself so much, it took me awhile to relax it but nothing some soothing music and Susan couldn’t fix :). I guess you could say, I’m hooked to Yoga.

As I was leaving, I went to pull my hair back in the mirror while the next class was coming in. I remembered it was something called “Zumba” and I wanted to see what it was.

Holey moley…it rocked! It was completely within MY realm of working out. Why? It was a Salsa/Meringue/Tango type Aerobics class! Lotta booty shakin. Needless to say, I watched for about 5 minutes, eyed myself a spot, and jumped in on the class. That’s what rocks about Golds, you can jump in on any class anytime at no cost but your cheap membership fee. Screw the YMCA in Tilly, Gold’s is where it’s at. I stayed only half way through the class as I didn’t bring any water and I was exhausted, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. You know I like-ah-too-shake-ah.

I went to High Point, showed off my new nose ring, and went home. One of my goals this month is to sleep better as I don’t want to slip back into the same insomniac habits I had as a child, so I decided to sleep early. I crashed around 10ish in an effort to recoup from working out, Daylight Savings Times, and many a long night staying up on the phone to Oregon. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately, or moreso falling asleep initially and I’ve had strange dreams, but last night I was out immediately after an unpleasant phone call. I woke up several times that night; I’m assuming my body was in denial from the large amounts of sleep I was getting. Go Me.

All in all, I hope I stick with this habit of working out. I felt so accomplished afterwards. I’ve always been unable to do really strenuous sports thanks to being an asthmatic since birth, and I’ve always detested it. Don’t get me wrong, I did Cheer, Speech and, thanks to the warm air and water having a positive effect on my lungs, Swimming, and I rocked State in all three, but it’s never stopped bugging me that I could never go running with my friends. Hopefully, I’ve found a niche that will help me to get into shape like the days of high school and also continue to combat and train my asthma like back in the day as well.

Besides. All this coffee is making me fat. HA!

2 days to Oregon bitches.