Silly Eskimos...

DAMNIT.

I woke up this morning, exhausted having not returned home from Ryan’s house till somewhere around 1:00 am. When I got home, I realized I had project to do for work and stayed up till around 2 finishing it; it was due early in the morning and I had no choice. After finishing, I went to set my alarm and I just knew I would not have the energy to straighten or curl my lion’s mane in the morning…so I let myself sleep for an extra 45 minutes.

This morning, I woke up, groggy as could be, hopped in the shower and attempted to throw my hair in a cute bun. Apparently, my hair was as groggy as my attitude and it refused to go up as planned. As I was running out of my time, I re-doused my hair in the shower, pulled it back into a low bun and went on a hunt for my cute white moccasin shoes.

I found them, but they surely are NOT on my feet today.

Instead, black fur-lined snow boots.

I threw my moccasins down in disgust this morning when Tammy asked if I had looked outside. I, live in the downstairs portion of the house and it’s rare that I look outside before I actually leave. When I left Ryan’s house last night, I was trying to be convinced of that fact that I should stay because it had started to snow. I laughed, said it was a good try, but I was going home to my warm, comfy bed. Besides, it wasn’t sticking. This morning I woke up to enough snow to make me alter the outfit I had already picked out and almost throw a tantrum.

I don’t own an ice scraper (Ha….yet!) so I went to my car, started it, and scraped it with the back of a CD case. I failed, miserably, and stormed back into the house. I shook like I dog to get all the snow off of me and sat pouting until my car warmed up.

Farrah was barely drivable when I went on my trek to work. My rear-view mirrors were solid ice and she was still covered in snow.

Needless to say, I was not my normal speed demon when I braved the snowy highway. In fact, it took me 45 mins. instead of my usual fifteen and I was late. Bossman is out of town, so it made it easier to walk in the front door to my co-workers. Luckily, they smiled and said I would get used to the snow.

Silly Eskimos.

I have decided, I will be hibernating this winter. Feed me full and put me to sleep because I can’t deal with this for three whole months!

This weekend was lazy at best, but I did get some fun out of it. I’d even venture to say I spent the most time with people besides my family then I have since I got here. Saturday morning was Brooklyn's Baptismal and that night I went to Open Mic Night at High Point. It was really packed and the talent that night was really great. I’ve always enjoyed the artists that come and play and I’m always shyly asking for their CD’s. As I’ve grown on good terms with the owner, I approached him with an idea. Why not have a “Sounds of High Point” CD? This tiny little coffee shop brings in between 50-100 people at once on Saturday nights and not one person leaves unimpressed. He loved the idea and I mentioned that if he requested CD’s of this artists, I would be happy to upload them and organize an album, cover art, and explore options for casing. It’s free publicity for a growing artist and of course some profit for High Point. He was so happy with my idea (which made me happy) and he’s calling me this week together and discuss options.

Exciting yeah?!

I really needed a project….

I also hung out with Jordan that night and filmed some of his music to send home to Oregon. I spliced some of the cuts together and am trying to find a way to upload it to somewhere. It’s too big for Myspace and Youtube just pisses me off…but I will find a way. I’m dying to show him to Moge & Mesa; his voice is really talented.

Sunday was lazy and I didn’t make it to Ryan’s till around 10:00 PM. His new house is BEAUTIFUL and has a great view of SLC. It will surely be a bigggg party house and so I most likely won’t be frequenting it often. It was really good to see Ryan again though; such a sweet guy…

Well there is nothing for me to do at work today...
I'm heading home to nap!

Shannon

Show some?

Agh I had a bad dream last night.

It wasn't nightmare status, but it definitely made me uneasy.

My friend Kyle is in Iraq and I dreamt he came back hurt and I was the one who had to take care of him.

It was not pleasent and I have yet to hear form him since about a week ago.

*sigh*

Today I have yet to do much of anything. I got up, lazed around, went to Panda & Redbox have ceased to do anything since. I thought of hanging out with CuteDense Boy, but he was tired from just about 8 days of partying and gave me a "Maybe". I told him forget it. We'll see if he comes back around.

Instead, I'm going to watch a movie with RJ tonight.

Woot.

I now will use this section of my blog to post random pictures I've taken since I got here.

Welcome to my desk. Monster, Pictures from home, Monkey, & Work to do.
It's a happy place.

So one of my co-workers, a silly Sales Rep, decided to inform me after seeing my massive amount of Duck gear at the office, that they had the worst uniforms. After talking him into a corner, he put on his best defense and sent out an email with a sport site who voted the Duck Football uniforms the worst in all of College Ball. This, was my defense. It's amazing what you can do with pictures you find in the supply room, some scissors and a copier.

Found this at the airport. And I thought "#2" was only a joking conversational word...apparently not.

This little boy still makes me day alllllll the time.

Peace & Love.
Shannon

Mountains...

Had to share with you some
beauty I found in Utah.

Baptism!

Posted a few blogs I've scribbled the last few days...

Oh Glorious Saturday, how I love sleeping in.

It wasn't the extensive sleep-in I had planned originally, but it was def. sufficient.

I had to wake up and go to Brooklyns Baptismal. I'm not Mormon, so the terminology was a little foreign, but all in all it was beautiful.

Some people know, I have yet to be baptized. As my parents were not active in Christianity when I was young, and my aunt had all of us cousins to watch after, me being baptized just kinda never happened. In my journey to be reborn again as a follower of Christ, I decided to wait until I understood a few things before I ventured into being baptized.

Seeing Brooklyn become a member of her Church this morning, commit to her covenants with the Lord and accept the Holy Spirit, made me so proud and happy for her. It also, gave me a realization.

This Summer, I am going to be Baptized. It will be in Oregon at the only church I've ever known, the Tillamook United Methodist Church. I hope anyone who reads can attend; it's a moment I'm really looking forward to. I choose to do it in the Summer as my friends (the family I've always known) will be home from College and I really want them to share that time with me. I think it will also give me time to point out new directions, goals, and purposes for myself; as is tradition in a Baptism.

So yah. Go me! I'm very excited!

Thank you God for such a great realization this morning!

Oh! And of course, my laptop!

WHAT? Why is Shannon thanking God for laptop?

I lost it for a short while.

In that time, I realized my dependence on my electronics. On my laptop is not only my pictures, but my journal, my connection to email and all my friends in Oregon, my work documents, my music...just alot of what I really enjoy in life. I'm pretty lost without it. Photography, Music, connection to Friends...my simple joys.

I found it...in the most random of places, but am thankful it turned back up.

So I've gotten a few texts about the previously blogged about CuteDense Boy. And no, I've yet to see him again. He decided to up and leave for Mesquite NV, to visit a friend, and was supposed to be back days ago. However, he decided to stay longer...disregarding his job. I enjoy spontaneity...in fact I like to hold the quality in myself, however, I always enjoy general idea or RESPONSIBILITY! Holey Moley Boy....

Tonight, I'm hitting Open Mic Night. It's definitely time to get off the computer.

It's just frightening...

Nationally, homicide was the second-leading cause of death for young people ages 10 to 24 in 2004, and of those killed, 81 percent were killed with a firearm, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Not disease, not car accidents, not drugs....

McCain

Agh! Snow Storm!

Run!

I woke up 45 min. late this morning. And I’m still tired even with almost an hour of extra sleep.

I can’t wait to go to Oregon in mid-April. I just know Katie is going to do great in the DP Contest. I’m excited to see a certain someone and just as excited to see my Bestie Moge.

Okay, so I'm a little consumed by politics again

Someone actually assumed today I would be interested in voting for John McCain.

It’s unthinkable. McCain will continue the current administration's work in destroying our economy and bankrupting our country, devastate our military by carrying on with the surge indefinitely, and continue his constant rattling of Iran and antagonizing/criticizing of Russia. Quite honestly, he’s a war junkie and it can be certain he will start other wars along with surely installing strict conservative Supreme Court Justices. I’m in need of a court with a happy medium and I cannot live with absolute conservatism.

I just can’t help but express that it’s apparent John McCain is a horrible possible elect for this country. I watched his economic speech the other day and he absolutely had no plans on what to do. He, plainly said that he would simply sit back and let the current status work itself out, moreso, that he didn’t have any intention of doing much to help out the ecomony.

I’m currentely not a fan of Clinton either, as you can see in some previous blogging. But McCain, is the continuance of George Bush. If it comes down to it, and Obama is not the Democratic candidate… I will take my left hand to my right and fore it to vote Clinton. She may be power-hungry, discordant, shady character…but her policies are close enough to Obama that I would be forced to check his box. Sitting back and spending day’s at Camp David with McCain is just not a voting option for me.

Oh dear. Elections gets me so worked up.

Heh.

Hilary...you have disappointed me.

Bossman is here today. Lookin’ spiffy, attempting to impress. Go me.

Going to try a hip hop class tonight…wish me luck as my dancing skills haven’t had a class in years.

In the news world, I’m a little upset with Hillary Clinton.

[[Go Figure, right?]]

Today was the not first time she outwardly encouraged pledged delegates to think openly about who they will vote for, instead of who they pledged to. She told reporters that pledged delegates are simply not bound to abide by their state’s election results, that they are expected to act upon independent judgement and are free to make up their mind however they so choose. Clinton was also quoted in saying that delegates are just like superdelagates in the idea that there is no requirement that “anybody vote for anybody”.

Excuse me, Miss. Clinton? Are you are crazy as you sound? You ma’am, are a nut.

Why the hell would we elect our delegates if we weren’t ensured that they would accurately represent our opinions and in specific represent our vote at the highest of levels…the Presidential Election? And moreso, why in 1982 did The Democratic Party create a new category of delegate, the superdelegates, if we didn’t mean for them to be different from the delegates? If you don’t know, superdelegates are elected officials and party leaders who are free to support any candidate they wish, regardless of the majority vote in the states they represent. In Oregon, you pledge towards a candidate upon being chosen as an elector. Oregon has 7 electoral votes which is the sum or the number of our U.S. Senators (always two) and our U.S. Representatives in which Oregon is entitled. Potential elector candidates are nominated by their respective political parties in the months prior to the big day. Our Constitution allows each state to define its own means for the nomination of its electors. Then in each state voters will choose from a slate of pre-selected candidates for a Presidential Elector; each one represents the different candidates for President. Most state ballots are child-proof and are designed to look as if the voters are casting their vote for the actual candidates for President. States pretty much use the short ballot meaning they vote for one party and that vote is interpreted as a vote for the entire slate of Presidential Electors.

Electors who are pledged to a particular candidate are formally chosen in the popular election which is held on the first Tuesday following the first Monday in November. So on Election Day, when you’re voting for that special candidate, remember you are in fact voting for that candidates elector.

Okay, so now that you know a little bit more about the delegates, lets talk about what Hillary is asking them to become.

A flipping Faithless Elector.

Yep, I said it. And she know’s she’s doing it to

A Faithless Elector is one who puts his electoral vote towards a candidate other then whom he pledged (i.e. convinced the state voters they would vote for) to elect or who just plain refuses to vote for any candidate. There have been instances of this in the past; 71 were changed due to candidate dying, two were not casted, and 85 were changed due to a personal interest. Normally the Faithless Electors are alone in their actions as it’s…

[[listen up Hilary]]

WRONG and SELFISH. You are elected to represent the public majority vote (unless you are a superdelegate) and it’s not okay to act otherwise. Half of our states have laws to punish such an idea. You, Electors, are governed by and are a functionality of the state, and most states require you pledge to a candidate and stick with it! Though most states cannot punish the Faithless Elector till after the deed (Michigan has the right idea, they voted to have the power to cancel the vote), it’s still morally wrong to misrepresent those who elected you to your position.

What are you thinking Clinton? Are you out of your flipping mind asking for such blasphemy? Wipe that nasty, dirty-fighting smirk off your face, we don’t want your smug, rotten politics for four years, we’ve had enough of that.

And when it comes down to it, I can't really say what I need to say.

I am at a really low mood right now.

It's time I put more faith in God.

Lunch

Eventful was my day at work today! Got new pictures up and rotated the frames on the walls, posted a few batches, learned how to do token credits, fixed a flub up on some sales tax write offs, completely caught up the cash reconciliation log and sat it on a conference call about the new credit card system. I’m kinda glad we moved the team building event to next Friday; I got a lot done today! Now I’m sitting a Subway, eating back all the calories I burned off last night and fighting with myself as to whether I want to go work out tonight.

Really, I’m fighting with idea as to whether I want to go to Pilates. I hate that class! It’s awful and I may just switch it out for kickboxing….we’ll see.

Walmart Easter.

I hate Walmart.

I also hate, the amount of shopping that I do there.

Now of course, I wouldn't be caught dead in the clothes, as wrapping myself in a trashbag would be more sturdy and reliable then a scrap of fabric from Walmart. However, they supply me with the tiny essentials I need at a good price that would normally be more at another store. You know, the shampoos/conditioners, a coat rack, storage tubs, energy drinks, the little things I've needed since I got here.

Don't get me wrong, I still find Walmart to be the most small town-destroying, sweat shop supporting, life-numbing, employee & labor abusing, anti-environment friendly, American job killing, benefits-robbing establishment I will probably ever step foot in. I even venture to say, that at any given moment, Walmart could be appropriately renamed, The Devil…uh…Mart. Don’t you agree? There is so little good to say about what seems to be the most gluttonous and powerful of the cheap, low-end retailers. Sadly, Walmart accounts for a full 8% of sales in our nation and I'm contributing to some of that purchase of cheap, mass-produced product.

What even worse, is that beyond it’s normal faults, there are things I hate about Walmart on my own terms.

I’m consistently having to park in the far back of the lot, as every person and their mom are coddling there desire to shop Walmart at the same time I am; even though I shop around 11PM. I can never find anything and there is never an underpaid, overworked employee to help me. And when I find one of those dear Walmart bank rollers? They are obviously miserable and rude. Along with that, there is always a long line and the isles are full of shelves being stocked and the boxes block my shopping cart. OH! And they don’t have hand baskets, only squeaky hazardous shopping carts,

It's awful of me I know; to hate and complain but continue to bring my business, but come on, they have great prices on bulk Rockstars.

Okay, now that my much needed rant about Walmart is satisfied, onto today’s ramblings.

Of course, it’s Easter; a day for Christians to celebrate the fact that that Jesus rose from the dead on the third day after his crucifixion. It’s a time for the world to rejoice and commemorate a rebirth and resurrection of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. I realized today how much I miss the Easter traditions I celebrated as a child, Sunrise Service, Easter lilies, the amazing Easter choral productions, and of course the satisfaction in accomplishing a hopeful successful end to the Season of Lent. It was always a great time for my cousins and I to bond through our Lent sacrifices and regardless of the fact that my parents didn’t attend church, I was guaranteed to attend during this time as we never missed a sermon during Easter month at my aunt’s house. I’m proud to say I’m working on finding a church to begin attending. I only attending as a child under my aunt’s wing and eventually, I stopped attending. Growing up on my own, I slowly realized I was attending church on the basis that I woke up on Sunday to travel with my aunt and it was a place to visit with my cousins. I lacked in feeling the Holy Spirit and in honesty, regurgitated scripture and lessons as I had no idea what they meant. Don’t get me wrong, I loved God and I was aware of the idea of the Holy Spirit, but in full admittance…I never truly understood what I was worshipping. I fell away and stayed away up until a little under a year ago.

A friend of mine and his brother, constantly reminded me whenever I saw them, how awesome God was. Up until then, I hadn’t spent a lot of one on one time with them until they became in dire need of a roommate. Due to differences in opinion and some bad dependency habits, our living situation didn’t work out, but throughout our time spent, I got exposed to The Bible a lot more. What I did know about my religion came flooding back to me over the next month and it eventually became apparent to me that I was living a selfish life. Who am I to live my wonderful, generous life whilst giving thanks to no one for its creation & existence. Simply put, what am I living for if I am not living for faith? All at once, I knew I needed to make positive changes in my relationship with the Lord and I prayed that I would have the strength to stick with it. When things become difficult, I can be one to find a different option and or find a solution around it and I didn’t want that thought to even become imaginable with this situation.

Since then, my relationship and pride in the Lord has grown immensely. I still have troubles feeling inadequate in what I can offer to the Lord and the improvements that still need to be made in my daily decisions and actions, but I pray I have the time before he comes back to Earth to continue to make amendments in my life. All in all, for the first time, truly, I feel the Holy Spirit. I have full belief that he exists and is watching carefully over what I do and observing as my life spills out in front of me. I cannot even express how amazing it feels, a once skeptic, to have faith, a once independent, to believe that someone else already has a life planned out for me….God is amazing..

Back to Easter! Beyond missing traditions once celebrated on this day, my Easter Sunday was grand. Beyond the traditional Christian aspects I celebrated about Easter, the tradition of bright painted Easter eggs & a traveling Easter bunny came into play. I love the idea of using eggs as entertainment as eggs have always been a symbol of fertility and new life, which can be associated back to the Christian usage of Easter. It’s nice to not completely lose sight of that J. I was once told that originally Easter eggs were once painted with vibrant colors to represent the coming of the sunlight of spring and were used in not hunts, but Easter egg rolling contest and given as gifts. Sometimes they were even colored and etched with designs to be exchanged by couples; a lot like Valentines. When it comes down to the bunny, that was all German tradition brought in I think the 1800s by immigrants to the new country .It was the tradition of Oschter Haws and for German children, the Oschter Haws - or Easter Bunny - would arrive on Easter morning, delighting them by laying colored eggs in nests.

History Lesson much? Anyways.

I overslept my alarm, a much needed accidental mistake, and woke up to Hunter telling me the Easter Bunny had left me something. I hopped out of bed, washed my face, threw won some moisturizer, and shared my bathroom time with Hunter presenting me with my large chocolate Easter bunny. I followed my nose to the smell of a much expected huge breakfast and walked upstairs to my rockin’ family. I have to pause and note that they are my absolute favorite part about Easter Sunday. As kids, my sister and I celebrated Easter at my aunts, but as we got older and my parents took less and less interest in us, we made our own Easter celebrations and hid and decorated our own Easter eggs. It was sure that we made Easter our own and we enjoyed it, but deep down it was apparent both of us really needed family. To walk upstairs to a set of grandparents, Judy & Larry & Kristi some soon to be grandparents and aunt, an aunt & Uncle, three cousins and of course Gary the cat…is a very welcoming and warm feeling I really enjoy. I helped Judy by mastering the art of toast making and then joined in a pre-meal tradition. My Utah family has a rule that nobody can eat until they find the colored Easter egg that has their name on it. We set out to the backyard, found everyone else’s egg but our own, and eventually successfully completed the first hunt of the day and sat down to breakfast. After a grubbin’ meal, we had a family round of guitar hero and decided it was time for the plastic egg hunt (eggs filled with treats & prizes). Hunter owned that hunt and Harley walked past every egg within plain site of her. At the beginning of the day, the kids were told the Easter Bunny brought them something so big it could not fit in the house and that would be the last hunt of the day. I convinced Harley it was enormous and they eventually found the holy grail of Easter surprises….Rockband.

Of course, we immediately started rocking and rocked out a majority of the rest of the day. People came and went, movies were watched, and we all got a little bit better at being Rockstars.

But you expected that right? My family already were Rockstars,

Chanel.

So the date? You wanna know about it? Yeah? You do?

Too bad. Maybe I'll include some sneaky little details throughout this blog, but you may just have to read and find out. You'll have to run yourself through the daily ramblings of my life for a bit!

I'm sitting at High Point, and yes, I heard the boy with the seducing voice sing. I was really late and so I missed alot of his show, but I gave him a big wave afterwards and he came marching up, free CD in hand. I wrapped him in a hug i don't think he expected and I'm sure the best part of my later night will be indulging my ears in my newest CD. I finally learned his name too....Jordan :).

Right now there's a boy singing a song with some massive passion behind it. The main lyric being.

" I kissed a drunk girl....wooo hooooo......I kissed a drunk girl."

I love it.

I stayed in bed most of the day, as I haven't been feeling th greatest, until I decided I really needed/wanted to go get my nails done. Te green was bugging me, and I wanted black, so I went tanning, showered, curled and hit the freeway. I rather enjoy traveling via highway every where I go. It's quicker and my need for speed and passing is always fulfilled.

I arrived at my shopping center of choice, Southtowne. There is so many within miles of me but this one has my favorite little Vietnamese Nail Lady; Jenny :). Before I made it to the shop, my eyes locked on a purchase I've been wanting for toooo long, a Chanel Designer Bag. It sounds illy to drop dollars on a creatively pieced together scrap of fabric, but I just can't help to want what I want. Moge & I had always joked that someday our loving boyfriends would get us those designer bags we always wanted. As I'm boyfriendless, and have been boyfriendless for coming upon a year, I knew it was time to take things into my own hands. Right?

Right.

I'm the proud new owned of a Chanel purse and matching wallet.

I love Love LOve LOVe LOVE it!

I got my nails done, bought some cute new jeans, and now here I sit.

In other news, Moge has Meningitis and I'm incredibly worried about her. If she gets worse, I'm driving to Oregon regardless of my job. I just can't leave her in a hospital without having her Bestie there.

Okay, the date. The boy, Matt, was cuter then when I had seen him the day before. We met for coffee and he was late. Of course, I'm not shy about my obsession with accountability and he apologized.

It's okay, you can say it, I'm a bitch. Heh. Oh well.

Anyways, he didn't want coffee and decided we need to see a movie. I wanted to see Shutter, him some boy-action movie, and we decided on a late showing of Shutter. We roamed, ate some food, and I even met his friends who later texted him to say I was beautiful and a good choice. It's nice to make brownie points with friends. We played 20 questions about each other and set off for the show. The movie was okay, not as good as I wanted it to be, and he snuck his hand into mine when walked to my car. I went to drive him back to his really cute 2005 Audi, I got lost, and we ended the night with a sweet little hug and a peck on the cheek.

Now for the gritty.

He's gorgeous, just the looks in a guy I really like. Dark haired and eyed, nice body, tall, and has some interesting ethnicity as both his grandparents are from Spain. He's funny, sarcastic, harassing, and takes my subtle teasings. I had to poke at him, make sure he wasn't a whiner or a sissy, and he only through it back, which kept me interested.

Now i realize it's the first date, and forgive me for overanalyzing, but we have some differences. He's, a party animal. He throws them, goes to them, looks for them, probably 70% of his non-sleeping life. He wanted to make lots of money someday, and when asked what his single most important life goal was, that was it. Granted, I wanna make boo-koo dollars someday too, family, motherhood and super-wife status are my always my bottom line. I can tell he's stubborn and he admitted to the fact that he's never had a real relationship; that is just never worked out the right way for him. He's living at home as he had some issues with some roommates and he's starting his own business, a business someone convinced him would make him millions. There's a few, or maybe alot, of other things he mentioned, that set off small alarms in my brain.

Yep. I'm young, I don't need to be fitting this boy for marriage, but I can't help but be a little taken a back. I always put myself in positions with boys who cause me trouble, and he just seems like he's another challenge. Yah, he's cute, sweet throughout the date, would be a fun person to party with, and has a smile I adore. But at the same time, I see him challenging me later on.

Silly bad boys.

All in all, I'm going to see him again later on this week. He up and decided today to drive to Nevada to see a friend and so I have more time to sit and think on it.

I gotta get him, Im'a watch a scary movie. And listen to my CD :)

<3 you. Shan.

Taxes & a Boy.

It was incredibly hard to get outta bed this morning. I’m not sure why, but I had the same amount of energy that I had after an asthma attack. I had to literally “roll” myself outta bed this morning. My brain as so confused with drowsiness that I almost convince myself to call in sick, but then I thought of my friend Dan who is ridiculously ill and still going to work and I couldn’t bring myself to even think of calling in. I got up, took a very long shower, got dressed, and now here I sit, posting cash at work. I’m wondering if I’m starting to drift into anemia again. I’m constantly tired, getting the black circles, and nauseous; all symptoms of the iron deficiency I had as a kid. Time for the good ol’ blood work again! Thank goodness it’s Friday and thank goodness it’s payday! It’s going to be so nice NOT to have to pay my bills with a credit card this month.

So last night? Was heavenly. I started doing my own taxes and to my shock, I calculated that I owed somewhere around $700.00. Yep that’s right, not a refund but OWED. After overanalyzing and double checking my form numerous times and calling for advice, I finally broke down and made an appointment for someone to do my taxes. I knew H & R Block wouldn’t charge me unless I actually filed with them and so they were the way to go. After a good 10 hour day at work to catch up on my desk-mess, I ran a few errands and ended up on the doorstep of H & R Block. My Tax Preparer was none other then the real life version of Will Ferrall’s character from Stranger Than Fiction. I kid you not, no over exaggeration. Not married, perfectly starched collar, spiffy watch, crazy with numbers, awkward jokes, and just the same general mannerisms. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself.

I told him right off that I would not pay unless he found my taxes done incorrectly and in some way or another, I owed less money. Sadly, he reviewed my handy work and found it to be absolutely correct. I owed boo-koo bucks and it was time for the tears to start flowing. I know, I cry so randomly. I cry when I get pulled over, I cry when I’m INREDIBLY mad, and I cry when there is something I absolutely cannot talk my way out of. This time, being the last reason. Now last year, I made $20,000.00. That is not bad for a single girl living and working no her own in a small town. However, on a larger scale that is not much in the real world and tax brackets and I was also a full-time college student. How on earth could the government me charging a 19 yr. old single college student with that income, $700.00 in taxes? That’s weak. It turns out, the Ambassador program had not deducted nearly the amount they were supposed to deduct over the year and the one month I had worked helping a friends restaurant didn’t deduct any. Thus, my big fat owing. I then remembered something my preparer had mumbled about my 1098-T’s (college tax reports), that in Oregon, a certain amount paid out of pocket for tuition can be completely refunded. I had paid for everything that I know of via scholarship but a little but, but as some of my scholarships were personal checks after the dollars were deposited into my account, WOU recorded on my 1098-T that I had paid out of topic for my tuition! About 1200.0 of my tuition was refunded to me which covered the taxes I owed and my preparers fee and left me somehow with like a $300.00 refund! I paid extra to have everything expedited so I could hold onto my piece of mind, and ran out the door jumping and smiling. Sure, I could be sitting with a fat check if they had just taken out the right amount initially, but who cares, I don’t owe taxes and I can continue back on the path to paying my credit cards and getting back on my feet after the WOU disaster. I will never, ever again do my own taxes.

I also met a boy yesterday and I’m only blogging about him as I feel the need to blog about every little detail of my life. One of our Customer Service ladies has been pestering me about my relationship status for some time now and I had initially told her I was single and not interested. She asked me how could that be, a young girl like myself not looking around, and I simply told her my heart was floating somewhere in Oregon and I wasn’t ready to move past that yet. It’s stupid I know, and everyone knows why it’s in Oregon, but regardless of that situation, I’m just not ready anyways. After a good morning of friendly hints, I finally told her that she “knows where my office is” if she really wanted me to meet her son. Later that afternoon she comes to my office to notify me that he will be in later that afternoon and snatches my phone to put his number in it. Of course, I know she won’t be able to figure out my handy iPhone and she gives up unaccomplished. The boy stops in later and he’s absolutely the cutest boy I’ve seen outside the gym since I arrived here. However, he word vomits. In mere moments I found out about his party lifestyle and a few bad habits I wasn't fond of. So cute, yet so dense. At the mom's request, I agreed to have coffee with him. He thought it was crazy to be having coffee late at night, but then I explained it was common nature in Oregon.

And not, here I sit, upon my tall chair at High Point, awaiting CuteDense Boy. While waiting, I saw the boy I blogged about some time ago; the one with the beautiful voice. He had used my computer at one point to maquest himself somewhere and he saw and asked if it was indeed I who had lended him my technology. I smiled, nodded, and we sank into casual conversation. I told him he certainly owed me a CD and he assured me if I came and saw him tomorrow at Open Mic, I would get one. Raise your hands now, who knows where I will be Saturday night? Give you one guess. He sang a lovely song, and left with a friend, but not without a second assurance that I would be there tomorrow.
The boy is here, ADIOS!

And she said: Stupid, Stupid Girl.

Some good advice written specifically about me. The writer exploited my biggest weakness and fully grasped that weakness in the last sentence. Reading this aloud, was a realization all it's own. Thanks for trying, it surely made me think. So much, I wanted to share it.
-Shan


Dear Girl.

I want to share something with you. Please, as always, understand my blatant honesty. Here goes:

Say no to complications crazy girl; and that nasty heartache to! Find a nice boy, someone who comes with ease, not someone who fights you but surely "loves you too". Don't ask "Why not, What if, What it could be?"and don't lust for something that could easily become a smack in the face.

Stop.

He doesn't want you.

Run away, pretty girl.

What has happened to your common sense? To the logic that points wildly in the direction opposite of you? Are your eyes closed or are you ignorantly blinding yourself? Stop, pick up your heart and what's left of your pride, cry it out, and remove yourself from the situation.

Must you always chase the troubled? I used to believe you sought out the hearts of those who, sometimes unbeknownst even to themselves, needed you the most. Those who could use a kind, spontaneous, beautiful soul such as yours. But they misuse you and even worse... you walk plainly elsewhere when someone who will offer you the world...smiles your way.

You girl? Are a stupid girl.

I have known you all my life and one thing about you is certain, you are always self-aware to yourself, your life, decisions and actions. You dear, know exactly what you are doing at every moment and often are just that much more inadvertently aware of others.

And that is, and listen good now, the absolute stupidest part about you. You know you fall upon heartache with all warning and awareness of your own actions, and yet you never seem to give up on those who in one selfish light or another, wouldn't give you half of what your heart could give them in mere moments.

Maturity, beyond your silly giggles, pranks and outbursts, has always been your gift; a present for a life grown up much to fast.

Don't ignore that gift when it comes to love and don't be foolish. Remove your heart from your sleeve and stop clouding your judgment; he will never give you what you will give him.

And if he does? I'll eat my words. But I don't see him running to you, in fact, all I see is you trailing far, far behind.

Stupid.

I've shared something with you. And sadly, I know you're not listening.

Home from Oregon.

I've yet to finish my long an extensive blog from Oregon, tomorrow on lunch maybe. Right now, this is what I know.

1. I'm ecstatic to have wifi at my house now.
2. My body is sick of time changes, even of just an hour.
3. I miss a good bed to sleep on.
4. I hate the smell of air freshener in my room.
5. I'm going to fall asleep and or/drown in work tomorrow.
6. I'm absolutely the brokest I have ever been. Can't wait for Friday's FAT paycheck.
7. I really really really need to update my myspace profile.
8. I need to clean my room.
9. I miss Oregon.
10. I miss him. Social Burn - Leaving Song. You didn't take the hint or just didn't take the offer.

Stay tuned for the big ol' blog tomorrow.

Social Burn-Leaving Song.

Forget the things I said last night
Cause I was wrong and you were right
I can't believe the things I say to you sometimes

Cause 24hrs till I go away
They want me over there
So I can't stay
So I say make the best of the time we have

[chorus]
[[Hold on to me tonight]]
Cause this could be the last time
[[Hold on to me forever]]
My friends think that I should be out hangin around their local bars
What's wrong with this town?

All I really want or need is you

There's 24hrs. till I have to leave
Then I'm off to see what I can see
It's my job, don't take it personally

[chorus]
[lead break]
Forget the things I said last night
Cause I was wrong and you were right
[chorus x2]

Morning Mumbles.

Gym Update: I officially hate Pilates. It’s too hard, makes my back hurt, whine whine whine. I have one more class before I’m allowed to even think about switching to something more friendly like Hip Hop, but geeze I hate it. I failed last night and ate fast food; that didn’t take long now did it? Honestly there was nothing in the house I could cook/wanted to eat and I was to tired even if there was substance. I indulged, and packed. My lord, you’d think I was moving back with the amount I can fit into an over-sized duffle bag. This is another aspect of my life where my slight OCD comes in. If I don’t have something I want, when I want to have it (say a cute green top I wanna wear instead of a cute white one) I become obsessive about it. Hence, my shopping habits…heh. So my duffle bag is the size of one you would store all your football gear in and it’s absolutely enormous and impossible for me to carry. Getting to the max will be tricky…for sure. I slept awful, waking up a lot again, and woke at 6:20 instead of 6:00 am. I still had to shower, finish the little bit of packing I couldn’t do till the morning, and run around like crazy. This morning was too much! Hair wouldn’t curl, face wash wouldn’t open, duffle bag wouldn’t close, traffic wouldn’t get the hell outta my way (despite my obscenities), coffee tasted burnt and I was 5 minutes late to work. My desk is piled high and I just got off a TWO HOUR conference call that explained a new program to replace something else I had just finally gotten the hang of, friends are calling me giving me new tasks to accomplish, people to call, things to do for St Paddy’s to work, and yet I sit here….blogging listening to Colbie Caillet. Sometimes I wonder how much further ahead I would be in life if I didn’t always do as I pleased, want who I wanted, and do what I do, when I want to do it. Hmmm thoughts for another day, yeah.

However, regardless of all the crazy this morning, there is nothing really that can bring me down. I am flying in less then 6 hours to Oregon. I can’t wait to breath Oregon air, waive and see Oregon people, and hug a tree there is so many more of them there then in Utah! Tomorrow? I get to see my best (guy) friend on the whole planet, Mesa, and spend and evening kicking it with his rockin family. The next day? Party in the streets of P-Town, gussied up and ready to dance with almost all of the people I’ve chosen to stay in contact with. Sunday? Well, that day is left to be planned as my previous plans hung up on me. Monday & Tuesday, family and possible snowboarding. Oregon is just gunna rock.

Anyways, I’m out. Peace Easy Yo.

Shan

rambling.

Last nights Pilates kicked my ass. I never though it would be that strenuous or hard on my body. I’ll admit, I eyed my class before starting and most of them were my size or bigger and I assumed most of them were in the same mediocre shape I was in. Wrong. These ladies were Pilate Pro’s. They smiled and humored my inexperience and assured me it would get easier. The instructor, a humorous Asian lady who cracked jokes inbetween poses, made me promise before we began that I take the class three times in succession before I decided to completely hate it. I agreed so next Monday I will be suffering through another Pilates class.

All in all, I’m loving my gym experience. Believe it or not, I feel like I’m seeing results. I really have great metabolism and I only gain weight because I eat whatever I want when I want without thinking repercussions. In high school, my weight would jump +10/-10 lbs in just a week and the Doctors always said it was just a strange metabolism. Lately, my weight has stayed the same and it’s not the number I want it to be. Just working out this week and not eating like a piggy, I’m down 6lbs. I’m still eating three meals a day but I think the exercise gave my metabolism the extra kick it needed. It’s nice. Anti-Gym Chick is finally feeling the satisfaction she always saw everyone else get from the gym but sadly, never understood until now. Go Me.

Okay, so the St. Paddy’s Day Bash is getting me stressed out! Agh, it makes OCD a hard thing to live with…I tell yah! So many changes in flights, cancellations, time changes. Can’t we all just be simple? The whole idea is to meet in Beaverton so we can take as few cars as possible. Parking in Portland, specially on a Holiday weekend, SUCKS. It looks like it’s going to be Chris, Dave, Jose, Morgan, Trish, & Myself for sure. Maybe Hayley, Kymmi, Krystal & Alex. Dinner, Clubbin, Hotel, Drink. Simple yeah, if everyone was on the same time schedule.

Shit my desk is piling up. Peace Yo.

Anti Gym Chick.

So. You must be wondering how Anti-Gym chick survived her first night right?

I’ll be absolutely honest…

Are you ready for this?

I loved it.

I walked in, new pink Yoga mat in hand, asked for a tour and how to get my Yoga class, and this sweet little blonde really helped me out. I toured the facility, eyed some mancandy, and eventually sat down on my Yoga class. My instructor was Susan and I had a good chat with her beforehand about my lack of any gym experience ever and she assured me she’d keep an eye on me. As cheesy as it sounds, I really got into it! The relaxing music, the crazy moments, the deep breathing, it was so relaxing yep incredibly challenging at the same time. My prior flexibility (Go Cheerleading!) really helped, but it was defiantly difficult. For example, imagine me doing a handstand against the wall, but instead of my feet in the air, moreso an “L” shape against the wall, holding my own body weight. Then for different time intervals, moving my feet down the wall but keeping my arms in the same place making a smaller gap between my upper body and lower body while still holding myself up. It was surely challenging, but I had an amazing feeling of accomplishment afterwards from doing it. By the end of the class, when we went to warm-down and relax through meditation, my body was shaking all over from pushing myself so much, it took me awhile to relax it but nothing some soothing music and Susan couldn’t fix :). I guess you could say, I’m hooked to Yoga.

As I was leaving, I went to pull my hair back in the mirror while the next class was coming in. I remembered it was something called “Zumba” and I wanted to see what it was.

Holey moley…it rocked! It was completely within MY realm of working out. Why? It was a Salsa/Meringue/Tango type Aerobics class! Lotta booty shakin. Needless to say, I watched for about 5 minutes, eyed myself a spot, and jumped in on the class. That’s what rocks about Golds, you can jump in on any class anytime at no cost but your cheap membership fee. Screw the YMCA in Tilly, Gold’s is where it’s at. I stayed only half way through the class as I didn’t bring any water and I was exhausted, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. You know I like-ah-too-shake-ah.

I went to High Point, showed off my new nose ring, and went home. One of my goals this month is to sleep better as I don’t want to slip back into the same insomniac habits I had as a child, so I decided to sleep early. I crashed around 10ish in an effort to recoup from working out, Daylight Savings Times, and many a long night staying up on the phone to Oregon. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately, or moreso falling asleep initially and I’ve had strange dreams, but last night I was out immediately after an unpleasant phone call. I woke up several times that night; I’m assuming my body was in denial from the large amounts of sleep I was getting. Go Me.

All in all, I hope I stick with this habit of working out. I felt so accomplished afterwards. I’ve always been unable to do really strenuous sports thanks to being an asthmatic since birth, and I’ve always detested it. Don’t get me wrong, I did Cheer, Speech and, thanks to the warm air and water having a positive effect on my lungs, Swimming, and I rocked State in all three, but it’s never stopped bugging me that I could never go running with my friends. Hopefully, I’ve found a niche that will help me to get into shape like the days of high school and also continue to combat and train my asthma like back in the day as well.

Besides. All this coffee is making me fat. HA!

2 days to Oregon bitches.

Holey Nose.

I, Ladies & Gentlemen, got another hole in my body yesterday. This one, being the first one on my face. I woke up Sunday morning, groggily embracing Daylight Savings times, and decided I needed a new piercing. Normally, they are stress induced, or at a time when I need a release. This one, I decided, was just going to be a gift to myself. I was sure I wanted my nose pierced and then I thought I possibly wanted to re-do my belly button. So of course, I did what I do best, I texted everyone. After about five minutes and 30 text messages later, the polls closed and I was getting my nose pierced. I had been doing some research on this studio called “Koi” and I got dressed and headed out.

My iPhone got me there with no problems, except for when I missed my exit, and I really liked the feel of the studio. I talked a lot with the receptionist, whose piercings gave me ideas for some of my own, and then it was off with Eduardo, or Ed for short, for a new hole. He, like the studio, was Hawaiian. He was very professional, fun to be around, and amused by how I landed in Utah. All in all, it was great & painless. And to be honest, my nose is flippin cute. I’ve always been somewhat disappointed with my nose as it’s the only physical characteristic I inherited from my mom, but now I’m content. I left feeling rejuvenated, relaxed, and happy with the world; as always after a new piercing. I also felt a strong urge to blow my nose as my new earring felt like an enormous booger. Ed assured me the booger syndrome would pass =].

On the way home, I called a few friends, and got completely lost in the process of me chit chatting away. That, was lame. I went home, changed clothes and left to buy workout clothes.

Why you ask?

This girl? The girl who hates working out? The girl who’s physical activity includes playing guitar hero and swimming endless laps? The asthmatic?

Joined a flippin gym.

Gold Gym to be precise.

GO ME!

Tonight? Yoga. Tomorrow? Pilates. The Next Day? Kick Boxing.

And repeat.

I’m aiming to become more flexible and lose a few pounds. I’m oddly flexible as it is, but it wouldn’t hurt to be more =]. I randomly walked in to the Gym located conveniently next to my second home., High Point Coffee, and inquired about classes. The girl who I talked to happened to be from Eugene OR and we chatted about how much we missed Oregon. And by chatted I mean sat at her desk for a good hour discussing the need for green trees, friendly drivers, places that don’t close on Sundays and stay open past 3AM, parties in Eugene, and of course…the constant supply of something to do. She invited me to go clubbing with her and her friends and said she would work on hunting me down a faker. Oh the days of being able to skate into clubs in Portland…yah…they’re on hold. Anyways, I politely said Maybe, and she waive my $150.00 starter fee and gave me a discount on my monthly membership. So in the end, I pay $30.00/month to attend any and all classes, work out 24.7, swim whenever, and go to any Golds. I am pumped.

Tonight after work I’m heading to get my nails fixed, pick up a Yoga mat, workout, go for coffee, and finish up some plans for Oregon. Got some emails back from friends at Concept and I get in free all weekend and we get to hop any lines. The suite is booked, rides are arranged, outfits are bought…it’s gunna be bitchin.

I been thinking a lot about my tattoos lately, and what scripture I want to put down my side, and of course, I’m still incredibly indecisive. I’m trying to look a little everyday and I’ll post what I find on here.

Deu 8:3	He humbled you. . . to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD
1Sa 12:24	But be sure to fear the LORD and serve Him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things He has done for you
Psa 3:3	You are a shield around me, O LORD; You bestow glory on me and lift up my head
Psa 27:1	The LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?
Psa 34:4	I sought the LORD, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.
Psa 51:10	Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psa 55:22	Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.
Psa 118:17	I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done
Psa 119:105	Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path
Pro 3:5-6	Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Pro 12:28	In the way of righteousness there is life; along that path is immortality.

More another day.

Week One=Accomplished

I must start by saying, there is a boy here at High Point who is singing, and lord is his voice seducing. He makes me want to walk right up, sit right in front of him, and listen. He makes me want to smile....he....he....he....makes me wish his girlfriend wasn't sitting right in front of him.

Agh, all the good ones are taken.

He's singing Barenaked Ladies What a Good Boy, Accoustic of course. He's fantastic.

This song is the cross that I bear,
Bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me.
Be with me tonight.
I know that it isn't right...but be with me tonight

I think I'm going to buy his CD. :)

Anyways, onto bigger and better business.

I accomplished my first week of work!
And I rocked it!

My boss said when I was touring depts. that I had alot of places I could go within this company if I wanted it and that he thought I had the potential. At that point I stopped and told him that I wouldn't be within this company if I didn't want to go places; that if I wasn't learning new things and pushing myself to excel, then I would get bored and that to me was unacceptable for a career choice.
He smiled, and we moved on.

It's truth right there. I cannot stand the day in day out wondering if anything is every going to change career. I need goals, I need competition, and moreso I need to know that I am growing, not dying with repition.

Not only did I learn the computer system, but I created a new flow sheet for how our orders are placed and volunteered to take on/manage Team-Building Tuesdays and being the picture taker for our events.

Can I just say. "Nice Job!" is like music to my ears? Even if it's via email, I love doing well!

I'm really loving this job. There is so many ways to excel and my co-workers are neat as well. We had a Profit & Loss meeting today where we shot baskets and guessed sales numbers. It's actually within our mission to have fun! When we do Blue Ribbon ( like an audit) they actually ask us to name the last company party or fun event we did and we lose points if we havent had one.

I love it.

Tomorrow, I get rid of my puppy Noku. Sad Story I know. I just can't offer him the love he needs and it's selfish of me to keep him in a place that he can't be awknowledged all the time. He's going to a really cute family though.

OMGosh, countdown to Oregon has begun! 6 days baby! We are gunna PARRRRTTTTAAYYYY. Literally every part of me just wants to jump up and scream right now, I'm so excited! All my besties in one place (for once), dancing, drinking, living...something I've lacked in since I arrived here. I got an email today saying we get VIP Entrance so we don't have to wait in line and Embassy called and took money off the Hotel Room thanks to my fab company discount. Everything is just coming together and I can't wait.

Hmmmm. I'm not feeling very bloggy right now.

So, I think I'll go play Guitar Hero.

My nails? Got them done today to match my Paddy's Day outfit....so cute.

Ya this blog is lame, I know. Forgive.

Shan.

bleh

I just burnt my tongue on a chai tea...I'm not happy.

I am happy though, that I am flying to Oregon in one week.

Green. I can't wait.

Work is still fab. As you most likely guessed, I'm throughly drowning myself in office supplies.

Strange little fetish it is...

The job is definitely occupying more of my time, but I'm still friendless and bored. Man, when has this ever been so hard for me?

Somebody, seek me out.

I'm hitting the sack early.

Loves.

PSS Lunchtime

Holey Moley,

I love my new job.

I'm on my lunch break, munching down the ever delicious BK, and I must say a few things that rock about my job.

• My Boss and other half to A.R., LOVE ME! Out of like 20 applicants, they picked me and have continued to tell me all day how happy they are with my attitude and their selection. They said they knew after my interview that I was perfect for this job and really didn't want to have to continue with the interview process. No Joke!
• We get gas cards, every month, pre-loaded with like $20.00 or something to help go towards the crazy gas prices (btw, Utah is just a little lower then Oregon's right now)
• If we don't take our sick days? We get paid out for them.
• I get my own cute desk and split my office with the other lady in A.R. who is easy to get along with and listens to good music.
• Speaking of that desk, I just spent the better part of the last hour, choosing cute office supplies, organizers and whatnot for the that desk from Office Depot. And let me tell yah, it wasn't on my credit card :)
• And on that desk, I have a phone! A phone with my own direct extension and voicemail.
  
• No uniforms, no nametags, and I get to wear jeans to work. Heaven!
• Fantastic starting wage and quarterly bonus'! Last bonus? $1200.00
• Tons of company parties and picnics with fantastic gifts.
• Random incentives for doing surveys, working out, participating.
• Discounts on cell phone coverage, hotels, basically everywhere...
• Parking! A perk US Bank refused me for TOO LONG!
• Hour lunch breaks.
• I'm allowed to do whatever I want on my computer, just gotta get my work done. But I definitely added MSN :).
• My co-workers are super friendly and generally motivated...another US Bank downfall.

I've got to go back to work, but yes, my job flipping rooooooccccckkkkkksssss.

<3shan

Desperate Housewives & a New Job

Woo Who!

Tomorrow I start my new job!

I, will officially be a Professional Cute Office Lady Extraordinaire.

Or you know, the technical name would be "Accounts Receivable", but I like my title better.

I can't wait! The bonus' are competitive, the environment fast-paced and as always it's an opportunity to make new friends.

I am going to do awesome things at this job, I just know it. I may not have an actual competition like US Bank, but I am am competing for a big fat bonus, and I'm going to rock my way into one of those. It sounds silly, but I'm pumped to show just how much I can excel and how quickly I can learn. I need something to busy my time, something to learn and improve, and PSS is my new project.

Go Me.

Okay, I'm done with that.

I am firmly addicted to Desperate Housewives.

Being without TV for two years has left me very unattached to it's programming and almost completely unwilling to catch up on any show currently on.

BUT, then I started watching the boxset of past seasons and now I'm addicted.

Besides it leaving me on the edge of the recliner every show I finish, I see other reasons why I'm addicted. Honestly, it probably has to do with image of a housewife that's long forgotten in today's "independent woman" era. I like that fact that the ladies of Wisteria Lane in one way or another clean, cook, get the kids off to school, and still hold the strong independent role of an assertive, smart female and yet a completely loving wife.

Aside from the affairs with the gardener and what not. Heh. You can't win em' all right?

Though really, it's a perfect little fake reality to me. I'd love to be married to a rich man someday, raise kids, clean house, have a career, drive my Soccer Mom SUV (wouldn't catch me in a minivan, so way sistah) and live in Suburbia. I could do it. lol, that's a long ways away though.

Anyways, I'm heading home. Below is a whiney blog I was unable to post last night.

Peace & Love

<3shan style="font-style: italic;">2/1/08

It’s been just a little past a week since I first felt truly lonely here. It was my first Friday night here, and the first moment I gave in to the overwhelming feeling of being alone, and the realization that my lifeline friends were not within driving distance. They, were living there lives in Oregon, and though I was invited, I had no way to get there.

The next week passed unbelievably fast; I had a busier agenda which I assume passed the time quicker. But as this weekend rolled around, it is still vividly apparent that I am with nothing to do and alone. I lie of course, there are plenty of things to do. Laundry needs to be folded, my bedroom and car needs to be organized and cleaned, thank you notes need to be delicately written, and a number of other mindless, monotonous tasks. I’ve indulged too far into the hobbies I can do alone; catching up on a great series I’m reading, researching political candidates, blogging. I’ve even turned to watching TV though nothing is really ever on. I’m sure it wouldn’t feel so lonely tonight if I had gone out to the show at High Point, but that wretched snow storm had to hit and now I sit here, aero sweats and a hoodie…wallowing.

As always, I’m self-aware. I understand this is just a silly emotion I’m feeling and it will pass as time passes. I try to blame it on time; cursing it’s stubborn, unsympathetic and above all selfish behavior. But then I remind myself of physics and the simple fact that time is constant, always the same amount of seconds to every minute, minutes to hour and so on. It only changes when we a.) change it ourselves as in Daylight Savings or b.) when we imagine it’s out there to torture us.

I’m taking option “b”.

I don’t necessarily want time to speed up, as I don’t want to miss out on any moment of my life, but that’s just it, I feel like I’m missing out. I wonder why I am not enjoying the cherished time we call a “weekend”; making a memory.

*Sigh*

It’s an easy answer, I’m in a new flippin state! I know no one my age and it’s just taking longer then usual to find friends. I’ve been here just a little over two weeks and I’m expecting way to much to just fall into place for me when the truth is…this isn’t Oregon and Utah is not my dance floor.

I am being a whiner, and I don’t need someone to tell me twice. I could call any one of my friends ( at 3 in the morning as I’m blogging, bless their hearts) and they would considerately put that into Crayola terms for me. But I understand it all already; maybe I just feel if I blog about it…it all might be where I want it to be quicker.

I’ll get over it, it was really just a friendly reminder I got today that brought all this up. The one I’m sure they will never let me forget. The one that states that everyone knows the smartest, most practical and realistic option would have been for me to stay at WOU. But truly, you can attempt to smear my face in that lost option all you want, but I am happier on any couch, in any state, feeling these exact same emotions, then at college. I will never be happy spending four years and an unreasonable amount of money and time earning my degree. I make a great wage at my job, am promised advancement, and thoroughly enjoy my tasks. And really? It pays the bills and leaves me free to enjoy my life and make memories and love God and those around me.

And really, that’s all that matters.

I may be lonely for now, yes I admit it.

But this girl always finds her way.

Night xoxoxo

And all I saw was blue...

I'm on dial-up, this is the best I can do.

Today was interesting. I woke up really late due to a really heavy dose of NyQuill but I immediately jumped in the shower and jump started my day. I made a bunch of really good mixes and hit the road to Orem to shop for Morgan's St. Patty's Day dress. I have more time on my hands to shop then she does.

I made it to Orem, bought the dress with the cutest shoes, earrings, and bracelet to match, and was going to do some more shopping, but I had a strange feeling that I should really get going.

It was a good thing that I did, as a crazy storm decided to hit. I was driving along, talking to Moge, and I noticed the wind was really blowing and the rain was starting to come down. Suddenly, the truck two cars in front of me, had a tire blow and the rubber was going to hit the car in front of me, but he/she decided to swerve into the next line forcing that car in that line over, and the tire to (luckily) go underneath my car. I screamed obscenities, and attempted to swerve but there was a semi there, and then just let my car take the beating. I got off the phone at that point and drove home. Slowly, of course, as the rain turned into snow, and the storm became a complete whiteout. I found my exits, and pulled up to 70th South and as I was pulling up, everything turned bright bright sky blue for a few brief seconds and I couldn't see anything else but that. When I could see again, all the traffic lights were blinking. Then, everything went blue again several times in a row and cars started swerving and then...everybody stopped. There we no lights anywhere. I was in the middle of pulling through an intersection so I continued to pull through slowly and head towards Taco Bell. I knew if this storm was going to continue, I wasn't going to cook and there probably wasn't any power anyway.

I made it safe, got home, took this picture, and now here I sit, indulging in my newest addition...

Desperate Housewives.

I give in, I usually don't like TV or it's shows, but we now have seasons 1-3 and they are addddiiiccccttttiiinnnnggggg.

I'm off to indulge.

Love you.

<3shan