recap.

Fuck North Carolina, I'm going to Japan. I refuse to not see my best friend before he's sent to the sand trap. Getting a Passport may prove to be tricky but damnit I'm determined.

I have to take a moment to post what I started working on this weekend but had no Internet to post.

Saturday:
Ugh and I wanna burn that feeling outta me.

I pulled into Tillamook a few hours ago and I thought when I left my lovely new home of Monmouth how sad I was to be returning already. It wasn’t until I pulled into Tillamook that I realized how nauseous the idea truly made me. I smelt the air and to no surprise it was not the manure that bothered me, rather the smell of an arrogant, vain, self-involved scandalous little hellhole that I used to label home. As said previously, I wanted to burn that feeling off of me like leprosy.
Why am I here you might ask? I have a radio interview on Monday and then a voiceover tomorrow. I also was going to hang out with my dear friend Dan tonight, but no such luck as he just disappeared. I was supposed to go there tonight but then he never called.
Hmmmmm. That’s all I have to say about that. So Here I sit in Tillamook, resting on my brothers couch, aero sweats and a western tee. My nephews are resting in the other room and Jerry & Sandra are getting ready to go out. My dear friend Moge and I had a splendid time at freddies tonight finding new products for T.W. and her vag problems and had coffee. I missed that girl. I came here right after as I wanted to see my babes before I put them to bed. I’m basking in the sounds of one of my favorite flicks, Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood. Man I love this MOVIE!

NOW:
That's all I got to before my brother and his wife erupted in an enormous fight; a fight so bad I couldn't handle it. I tried to distract my nephews who were awaken by the yelling, and then talk some sense into my brother. His wife is....over the top....and if I were married to her I would need someone to console me to so we had some good conversation in the garage. Then that crazy boy Kellon came over....ugh. What is with boys in Tillamook thinking they are more manly if they butt in and offer to kick someones ass? (Beating someone up was on the agenda that night for my brother) It's like they think they will grow a third nut or something...
Needless to say, I told him to get the hell of that property. He answered with "With all do respect maam, shut your fucking mouth". From that point I told him "With no respect, get the hell off this property before I report you for being drunk in public." He told my brother to hop in the truck and my brother laughed and said he wasn't getting in with him because Kellon was to drunk, and he proceeded to egg my bro on so I urged him to go driving if he wanted it so bad and to put his truck in a ditch WITHOUT my brother.

I saw him today, he was to drunk to remember me shoving him in truck, or when he tried to come back and I stood in the middle of the driveway disallowing him to come back. He smiled and gave me a hug and I told him he disgusted me. We're a lovehate him and I.

I ended up staying with my auntie that night; woke her up at one in the morning begging for a place to stay. There were friends I could have stayed with but chose not to for one reason or another. I was supposed to stay with someone before I ended up at my brother but it....urm...fell apart. Sad, I was looking forward to it.

It was a blessing in disguise however, I realized how much I missed my biggest fan. I can't thank God enough for that woman; next to my brother she's probably the 2nd most important person to me. Both of them care about me more then anyone else has ever shown me. We discussed life, I vented and cried about the pain my brother was feeling, moreso what my boys (my nephews) were going through or what they would be going through if they divorced. My nephews are my babes and I would do anything for them; I hated seeing them cry. Even more, I hated seeing my brother to a point of anger that he and I both agreed we would never show in front of our children, as our parents scarred us with it. I can only pray I don't ever reach that level when I have kids.

Sometimes I wonder if me not wanting to be someone (my parents) so badly...is enough. What if it's embedded somewhere in my DNA, my personality? What if since I wasn't raised with the morals, values, qualities I want to possess and strive to instill in myself...I won't have enough of them to pass on? What if I'm destined to be like them...?

Ugh, I'm reaching offtopic.

Anyways.

I loved seeing my Aunt. She's an angel. I also accidentally destroyed a pair of contacts by putting them in really expired solution. I woke up, put them in my eyes, my eyes slammed shut and refused to let me pull them out, and at that point I realized I was blind for a bit. I showered, did my hear and put makeup on all without eyes.

keep in mind I'm almost legally blind with out some type of corrective lens.

My aunt drove me to the radio station where I did my interview blind and she ran and got me some contacts. Lifesaver she is.

Oh yah, skipped a day, Sunday! I went out to Portland to work/finish my retirement video for ODPA. It's wonderful. I'm starting to get a little sad as it's approaching so quickly. I wish certain people could be there...oh well.

I got to see my dear friend Jordan to! He tried to tell me his cobalt (*cough* 4 cyl. *cough*) was better then my fusion. HA!!! We did a little shopping and he waited around until about an hour before I had to go to the Apple store. I missed him, he's always been there for me and we just grew apart over the last few months.

So I went to the Apple store hoping they could fix some of my problems with my malfunctioning phone. I was very sweet and smiled politely at my Apple Genius* and even though it was apparent I had beaten the SHIT outta my phone, they gave me a brand new one! They said they would only do it once though and I needed to take better care of my phone. They have the best customer service. While I waiting...I played Guitar Hero on the new Apple TV....I'm kinda wishing I had bought an Apple and not a Vaio, but I do love my pink computer (it's yet to be named).

hmmmm....what else...I need to do homework...BAD.

love you.
Shan