Tomorrow I start my new job!
I, will officially be a Professional Cute Office Lady Extraordinaire.
Or you know, the technical name would be "Accounts Receivable", but I like my title better.
I can't wait! The bonus' are competitive, the environment fast-paced and as always it's an opportunity to make new friends.
I am going to do awesome things at this job, I just know it. I may not have an actual competition like US Bank, but I am am competing for a big fat bonus, and I'm going to rock my way into one of those. It sounds silly, but I'm pumped to show just how much I can excel and how quickly I can learn. I need something to busy my time, something to learn and improve, and PSS is my new project.
Go Me.
Okay, I'm done with that.
Being without TV for two years has left me very unattached to it's programming and almost completely unwilling to catch up on any show currently on.
BUT, then I started watching the boxset of past seasons and now I'm addicted.
Besides it leaving me on the edge of the recliner every show I finish, I see other reasons why I'm addicted. Honestly, it probably has to do with image of a housewife that's long forgotten in today's "independent woman" era. I like that fact that the ladies of Wisteria Lane in one way or another clean, cook, get the kids off to school, and still hold the strong independent role of an assertive, smart female and yet a completely loving wife.
Aside from the affairs with the gardener and what not. Heh. You can't win em' all right?
Though really, it's a perfect little fake reality to me. I'd love to be married to a rich man someday, raise kids, clean house, have a career, drive my Soccer Mom SUV (wouldn't catch me in a minivan, so way sistah) and live in Suburbia. I could do it. lol, that's a long ways away though.
Anyways, I'm heading home. Below is a whiney blog I was unable to post last night.
Peace & Love
It’s been just a little past a week since I first felt truly lonely here. It was my first Friday night here, and the first moment I gave in to the overwhelming feeling of being alone, and the realization that my lifeline friends were not within driving distance. They, were living there lives in Oregon, and though I was invited, I had no way to get there.
The next week passed unbelievably fast; I had a busier agenda which I assume passed the time quicker. But as this weekend rolled around, it is still vividly apparent that I am with nothing to do and alone. I lie of course, there are plenty of things to do. Laundry needs to be folded, my bedroom and car needs to be organized and cleaned, thank you notes need to be delicately written, and a number of other mindless, monotonous tasks. I’ve indulged too far into the hobbies I can do alone; catching up on a great series I’m reading, researching political candidates, blogging. I’ve even turned to watching TV though nothing is really ever on. I’m sure it wouldn’t feel so lonely tonight if I had gone out to the show at High Point, but that wretched snow storm had to hit and now I sit here, aero sweats and a hoodie…wallowing.
As always, I’m self-aware. I understand this is just a silly emotion I’m feeling and it will pass as time passes. I try to blame it on time; cursing it’s stubborn, unsympathetic and above all selfish behavior. But then I remind myself of physics and the simple fact that time is constant, always the same amount of seconds to every minute, minutes to hour and so on. It only changes when we a.) change it ourselves as in Daylight Savings or b.) when we imagine it’s out there to torture us.
I’m taking option “b”.
I don’t necessarily want time to speed up, as I don’t want to miss out on any moment of my life, but that’s just it, I feel like I’m missing out. I wonder why I am not enjoying the cherished time we call a “weekend”; making a memory.
*Sigh*
It’s an easy answer, I’m in a new flippin state! I know no one my age and it’s just taking longer then usual to find friends. I’ve been here just a little over two weeks and I’m expecting way to much to just fall into place for me when the truth is…this isn’t Oregon and Utah is not my dance floor.
I am being a whiner, and I don’t need someone to tell me twice. I could call any one of my friends ( at 3 in the morning as I’m blogging, bless their hearts) and they would considerately put that into Crayola terms for me. But I understand it all already; maybe I just feel if I blog about it…it all might be where I want it to be quicker.
I’ll get over it, it was really just a friendly reminder I got today that brought all this up. The one I’m sure they will never let me forget. The one that states that everyone knows the smartest, most practical and realistic option would have been for me to stay at WOU. But truly, you can attempt to smear my face in that lost option all you want, but I am happier on any couch, in any state, feeling these exact same emotions, then at college. I will never be happy spending four years and an unreasonable amount of money and time earning my degree. I make a great wage at my job, am promised advancement, and thoroughly enjoy my tasks. And really? It pays the bills and leaves me free to enjoy my life and make memories and love God and those around me.
And really, that’s all that matters.
I may be lonely for now, yes I admit it.
But this girl always finds her way.
Night xoxoxo
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