And of course, my fear of the Dentist is no less then it used to be. It’s sickeningly pathetic for me to be afraid of something so trivial, but I can’t help it. I was shaking the whole way to the office and almost in tears when I laid down in the chair. Even the mere thought of my teeth being touched makes me shake and take a break from whatever I’m doing; you can imagine my hysterics when I stepped in and smelt the office. I tried to distract my fear in the a Victoria Secret’s catalog, but the office was too quick and drug me back to the torture chamber. I sat in the chair and the Asst. asked me politely what was the matter…did my nails dug into the death seat or the absolute freakish nervous bouncing of my feet and legs give it away? She had previously saw one of my back piercings poking out and commented on how much it must have hurt. I told her I would rather have gotten those piercings all the way down my spine, in one day, consecutively, then be sitting in that chair; I meant it. I bit down on the disgusting cardboard and took the x-rays, fully realizing It was going to be bad news. Next came the hygienist who informed me that though I brush twice a day, there was major cleaning to do as I had avoided the Dentist for more then two years. I was to expect my appt. to last longer then the expected 45 min.
Just had to stop again to suppress shivers. Agh!
The scraping, cleaning, poking, jabbing, bleeding…took and hour and a half.
And then, hah, then the Dentist actually came in. He told me I needed two root canals, my wisdom teeth pulled, and some surgery to remove the extra molars I was born with.
BTW, thanks mom for getting that fixed when I was supposed to have it fixed.
Lazy flippin’ parents…everyday your crappy parenting and negligence costs me more and more money!
My Dentist commented on how nice and tan my skin was, offered some ideas about getting my teeth fixed, and soon was gone. He did ask if I always responded in head nods and if it was rare that I spoke actual words. I informed him I only opened my mouth at the Dentist if it was demanded upon and absolutely necessary. Stupidly, he asked if I was afraid of coming to his office. Sincerely, I told him there was nothing more except natural disasters and death that I could think of that truly terrified me more.
In the end, I found out I need about 6000.00 in dental work. Needless to say, there goes all the nice things I wanted to do to my car. Now I get to spend that cold hard cash on hours of *shiver* drill time.
The Hygienist also suggested some braces and whitening for the small amount of crookedness I have in my front teeth. I told her I was happy with my smile and she proceeded to tell me I would be much happier with that smile if I got braces and whitening. After going through two hours of hell I had been putting off for TWO years I rudely (I admit, I was definitely rude) let her know she had no right to predict my happiness over my smile or try to make me feel bad about it’s current condition. I love my smile and she got an earful of that. Trying to get the last word in, she noted she still thought I would be happier in the end. I looked at her, in disbelief, unsure of what to say to such blatant ignorance, and simply...smiled. I smiled as big as I could and politely asked her (with my large, beautiful smile):
“Would you please stop talking to me?”
She scowled and walked away.
I saw my Dentist on the way out and I asked him if I truly needed braces and he said it was unnecessary unless I was really upset about my slight crookedness. I commented that his hygienist sure did and to note on my record that I did not want her near my teeth with any sharp object next time I came in, thanked him and left.
I cried sporadically the whole way home thinking about two full hours of my teeth being touched. I can’t help it, the thoughts make me really upset. It’s a really irrational fear, considering I love spider, snakes, heights and public speaking, but I can’t change it.
Moving on, I was to late coming back to conduct a team-building activity so it’s moved again to next Tuesday.
On an ending note, I was beginning to think there was very few left who read my blog. It didn’t bother me really, I write for my own sanity, but it was definitely a thought in my head. But while catching up with 5 or 6 friends over the last few days, I heard a lot of them quote from my blog!
“Oh, is he the ‘CuteDense Boy?”
“Wait, aren’t you getting Baptized in the Summer?”
“Oh BTW, I love your families Easter traditions!”
“How’s the purse?!”
It’s just nice to know people do want to stay caught up on my life as much as I do on theirs.
Love you guys.
One more thing…the blog… the one two below this one? It’s a good thing, don’t worry. Yesterday was closure and confirmation to feelings I had for someone who was never going to want them, regardless of what he said. It’s a freedom I’m embracing and I’m not sad. I've been “dangled on a string” for a bit now, and it’s nice to be cut free.
So stop with the worrisome phone calls, I’m okay loves.<3>
Love you.
Shannon
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