It all starts today...
The weeklong long move...
The puppy...
College ending...
Ohemgee.
Can't wait to see Morgan today!
Can't wait to see Chris tomorrow!
Can't wait to see my puppy today!
Here goes! Morning life!
Friday, February 8, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
So it's all coming together, and surprisingly it hasn't been that stressful.
Today I did the majority of the running around....of course I left it till the last moment to do, but luckily I had way less to do then I thought I did.
I withdrew from classes today, that was the biggest bitch. I had to start at the Registrar where they gave me a form to take to four different places to get signatures. Everyone was fairly nice except the financial aid office lady who wouldn't give me the information that I needed/wanted. I walked off in search of my next signature. When I went to the Office of Student Affairs to find the Vice President ( why, I needed her, I may never know) and she was really sweet and offered to help me with all my question. I expressed my concern about the financial aid lady and she told be the lady was all BS and to go demand some answers.
And so I did, and so I got them. They are gunna screw me, but I'll fight em.
Anyways, I also got out of my housing contract ( how I managed that one, I also may never know) and got all my stuff for my dog, changed my address, canceled my Tan Republic account, drove to Salem, and managed to load my car up with everything I'm going to need in Utah. I would kill for a UHAUL right about now, but I'll have to live.
Tonight, I'm at Don's, spending some time with a good friend.
Tomorrow, I run around Portland to tie up some loose ends and then drive back to WOU to have my R.A. check out my dorm, pack up a few little things, and then run around Monmouth to tie up some ends there. Then I'm off to Salem to get my pup.
You are all going to love him! Who needs a man? I gotta pup!
Then I got BACK to WOU!
I gotta go say goodbye to RHA and do somethings at RSC and then....well! I'm off!
I'll drive home to Tillytown and stay with my aunt that night. Saturday I work the opening shift DJing at the radiostation and that night Morgan and I are going out with my favorite couple, Chris and his man. Chris is coming all the way from Cali to see me and I cannot wait to see him.
Anup. I'll see him Sunday.
And the rest of the crew, I'll see ya'll up till next Thursday or so when Candis and I head out to Utah. She's flying out and we're roadtripping back.
I'm pretty much most excited for that.
THAT...and a new life.
you know.
Love Shannon
P.S. Andrea. Know that I love you.
Today I did the majority of the running around....of course I left it till the last moment to do, but luckily I had way less to do then I thought I did.
I withdrew from classes today, that was the biggest bitch. I had to start at the Registrar where they gave me a form to take to four different places to get signatures. Everyone was fairly nice except the financial aid office lady who wouldn't give me the information that I needed/wanted. I walked off in search of my next signature. When I went to the Office of Student Affairs to find the Vice President ( why, I needed her, I may never know) and she was really sweet and offered to help me with all my question. I expressed my concern about the financial aid lady and she told be the lady was all BS and to go demand some answers.
And so I did, and so I got them. They are gunna screw me, but I'll fight em.
Anyways, I also got out of my housing contract ( how I managed that one, I also may never know) and got all my stuff for my dog, changed my address, canceled my Tan Republic account, drove to Salem, and managed to load my car up with everything I'm going to need in Utah. I would kill for a UHAUL right about now, but I'll have to live.
Tonight, I'm at Don's, spending some time with a good friend.
Tomorrow, I run around Portland to tie up some loose ends and then drive back to WOU to have my R.A. check out my dorm, pack up a few little things, and then run around Monmouth to tie up some ends there. Then I'm off to Salem to get my pup.
You are all going to love him! Who needs a man? I gotta pup!
Then I got BACK to WOU!
I gotta go say goodbye to RHA and do somethings at RSC and then....well! I'm off!
I'll drive home to Tillytown and stay with my aunt that night. Saturday I work the opening shift DJing at the radiostation and that night Morgan and I are going out with my favorite couple, Chris and his man. Chris is coming all the way from Cali to see me and I cannot wait to see him.
Anup. I'll see him Sunday.
And the rest of the crew, I'll see ya'll up till next Thursday or so when Candis and I head out to Utah. She's flying out and we're roadtripping back.
I'm pretty much most excited for that.
THAT...and a new life.
you know.
Love Shannon
P.S. Andrea. Know that I love you.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
big news
I'm moving to Utah next Friday. Candis is flying here, we are roadtripping back, I'm scared as hell.
I'm also getting a new dog.
Sometimes. I think I'm crazy.
Love you.
Shans
I'm also getting a new dog.
Sometimes. I think I'm crazy.
Love you.
Shans
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
choking
Ugh, I'm stressing.
I don't know what to do, I'm so overwhelmed I can't take it! On top of homework, RHA office hours, RHA events, classes, I have to figure out what the heck I'm going to be doing here very soon. I'm fairly sure I'm not going to pass a class, as the lady is a Nazi and I've missed two classes, and the other two are so hard that if I don't fully dedicate myself to them, 24-7, I'm dead in the water.
I want to move to Beaverton/Portland area. It's simple. But I know I can't afford it on my own. I need someone there with me anyway, as moving to a big town with nobody out there I know, would scare me senseless. I want Morgan, she's the only one I know who could handle it and the only person I'd trust as a roomie. That's a big issue as I've had quite a few and it's really not worth living in the place if you can't at least trust or partially enjoy your roomie. It's a bad investment.
On the other hand, I have it made in Utah. A family that will love and support me, free rent, a transferable job, and well....family family family. It's a very attractive idea to me in so many ways. I'm dying to spend more time with them, they have been the missing half to me for a long time and meeting them two years ago I can honestly say was the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's inbelievale to find out where you get the other half of your personality from and hey....theres people out there like me.
Here, I have nothing but pushing hard to do it on my own. I literally do not have a home in Tillamook. I cannot go live with my parents, most students standby, for many reasons, but the bottom line being it is not an option. All my other family is packed full taking care of other troubled family and the bottom line being I refuse to rot in Tillamook ever again. Call me stubborn or what you will, but I left there knowing I would never ever move back.
So it's Beaverton/Portland or Utah. I could try it in a studio, but paying upwards of 650.00 a month would be at the line of me living with nothing. Thats over one paycheck at US Bank. If Morgan doesn't say yes, I'm kind of out of options. I could always stay here and try to make it, but if you've read a previous blog, you'd know I'm set in the fact that this place, college in general, isn't for me. I think, as in I'm so overwhelmed I'm unsure, that I want to be in Beaverton Portland area. I have a best friend here in Oregon that is priceless to me. I cherish our friendship more then any other I have ever had and honestly, I don't make quality friendships easily. I don't like to make friends with people who I know won't return the friendship I put out there...that eliminates alot of people. Then again, I have the only other best friend I can really hold to Morgan, in Utah, Candis. Back to here, I have some family I really love (my aunts), a mom who's health would get worse if I left, a brother who is the most important person to me in the whole world, and some family friends who have taken the place of those family members who didn't care to be around....and became family (the Leutholds). Finally, there is someone I like here. Thats an uneasy topic, but as I know most of my family reads this, I'll say that he's really sweet and I'm not ready for a relationship. He's responsible, outgoing, and makes me laugh (alot) but all and all I'm worried about it, I'll admit, everyone knows I lay my heart out to be stepped on, and often I get the feeling that I'll end up diving in head first with no water. Translation: He's a great guy, but I'm weary of liking him anymore then a friend.
So yah. I'm choking.
somebody save me.
shan
I don't know what to do, I'm so overwhelmed I can't take it! On top of homework, RHA office hours, RHA events, classes, I have to figure out what the heck I'm going to be doing here very soon. I'm fairly sure I'm not going to pass a class, as the lady is a Nazi and I've missed two classes, and the other two are so hard that if I don't fully dedicate myself to them, 24-7, I'm dead in the water.
I want to move to Beaverton/Portland area. It's simple. But I know I can't afford it on my own. I need someone there with me anyway, as moving to a big town with nobody out there I know, would scare me senseless. I want Morgan, she's the only one I know who could handle it and the only person I'd trust as a roomie. That's a big issue as I've had quite a few and it's really not worth living in the place if you can't at least trust or partially enjoy your roomie. It's a bad investment.
On the other hand, I have it made in Utah. A family that will love and support me, free rent, a transferable job, and well....family family family. It's a very attractive idea to me in so many ways. I'm dying to spend more time with them, they have been the missing half to me for a long time and meeting them two years ago I can honestly say was the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's inbelievale to find out where you get the other half of your personality from and hey....theres people out there like me.
Here, I have nothing but pushing hard to do it on my own. I literally do not have a home in Tillamook. I cannot go live with my parents, most students standby, for many reasons, but the bottom line being it is not an option. All my other family is packed full taking care of other troubled family and the bottom line being I refuse to rot in Tillamook ever again. Call me stubborn or what you will, but I left there knowing I would never ever move back.
So it's Beaverton/Portland or Utah. I could try it in a studio, but paying upwards of 650.00 a month would be at the line of me living with nothing. Thats over one paycheck at US Bank. If Morgan doesn't say yes, I'm kind of out of options. I could always stay here and try to make it, but if you've read a previous blog, you'd know I'm set in the fact that this place, college in general, isn't for me. I think, as in I'm so overwhelmed I'm unsure, that I want to be in Beaverton Portland area. I have a best friend here in Oregon that is priceless to me. I cherish our friendship more then any other I have ever had and honestly, I don't make quality friendships easily. I don't like to make friends with people who I know won't return the friendship I put out there...that eliminates alot of people. Then again, I have the only other best friend I can really hold to Morgan, in Utah, Candis. Back to here, I have some family I really love (my aunts), a mom who's health would get worse if I left, a brother who is the most important person to me in the whole world, and some family friends who have taken the place of those family members who didn't care to be around....and became family (the Leutholds). Finally, there is someone I like here. Thats an uneasy topic, but as I know most of my family reads this, I'll say that he's really sweet and I'm not ready for a relationship. He's responsible, outgoing, and makes me laugh (alot) but all and all I'm worried about it, I'll admit, everyone knows I lay my heart out to be stepped on, and often I get the feeling that I'll end up diving in head first with no water. Translation: He's a great guy, but I'm weary of liking him anymore then a friend.
So yah. I'm choking.
somebody save me.
shan
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Dobber
So I just got back from WOU's got Talent and a night playing BINGO (yahh.....lol) at this enormous BINGO hall, with the RHA crew. It was supposed to be team bonding....it was...something alright.
Good News: It wasn't to bad.
Bad News: I broke my iPhone. Byron stopped in front of me, I freaked and dropped my phone. That'll teach me to text and walk. Here comes ANOTHER drive to Portland to get that baby fixed.
damn. I like driving, but a trip out there to fix something seems lame.
and I been driving ALOT lately.
And I most likely won't be going out there to party as everyone is sick or tired. It's fucking LAME.
These lyrics actually meant to have nothing to do with anything until I started highlight words and sentances I liked. Ohem gee....
Good News: It wasn't to bad.
Bad News: I broke my iPhone. Byron stopped in front of me, I freaked and dropped my phone. That'll teach me to text and walk. Here comes ANOTHER drive to Portland to get that baby fixed.
damn. I like driving, but a trip out there to fix something seems lame.
and I been driving ALOT lately.
And I most likely won't be going out there to party as everyone is sick or tired. It's fucking LAME.
SO I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT.....!
A LARGE PORTION OF THIS BLOG WAS COMPLETE AND TOTAL BLASPHEMY.
I was being way to vulnerable via internet and decided it def needed to be DELETED
Now this?
3456
Yep, in all directions of this blog, is the edited version. Basically I deleted alot. Censored my own blog you could say.
it's sad. I know.
I've got to be more protective of my heart.
THAT'S IT.
My heart? It's off my sleeve. Right now. Hmph!
Easier said than done...yes?
We'll see.
Anyways. I miss putting lyrics in my blogs, so here's some lyric love.
Lord I love Colbie.
Honestly, this song says alot to me.
When it comes down to it, I jump head first into that crazy little world of love, relationships...ya know, that one. I've always found it's better not to think about the pain it could cause, the pain you could suffer (as shown in a previous relationship or something of that sort), or even those feelings that tell you "Damn, this guy is going to fuck everything up." I just can't help it honestly, I enjoy a challenge and the pain I sometimes feel is just a life lesson to me and as my motto goes..."Life Moves On, we're Blessed, learn and love it." I sware I've KNOWN when something wasn't going to work out and yet I still go after it. In this song, to me, it's like Colbie is in this world surrounded by people who live angrily, who live unhappily, who live for selfishness and disaster...and then she finds a boy, and Lord...he was sunshine :). She doesn't, in her small lyrical story, say anything about the way he feels about her, just her profusing "Oh Baby, let me be your lady."
It's fantastic.
She needs oxygen, her synonym for fearlessness, to say:
Hey boy, take it or leave it, crush me or embrace me, but I'm here, don't fear, the
past is just a memory so let me be your lady.
With a little oxygen, she offers him the world.
Her vulnerability is layed out on the table. I'm not as far in like her that she's giving it all in for a chance...but I have been, and I could be, but I can't be (I wont be...right?)
You believe me, I know you do.
I'm so used to giving it all, and now I'm just like everyone else... scared.
OXYGEN- COLBIE CAILLAT
I came apart inside a world made of angry people
I found a boy who had a dream...making everyone smile
He was sunshine,
I fell over my feet like bricks underwater
How am I supposed to tell you how I feel?
I need oxygen
oh baby let me be your lady
I will make you happy.
Never gonna leave, Never gonna leave,
oh baby can I be your lady?
I am going crazy for you.
and so I
Found a state of mind...where I could be speechless
I had to try it for a while...
to figure out this feeling
this felt so right,
pull me upside down to a place where you've been waiting
How am I supposed to tell you how I feel?
I need oxygen
oh baby let me be your lady
I will make you happy.
Never gonna leave, Never gonna leave,
oh baby can I be your lady?
I need oxygen
oh baby let me be your lady
I will make you happy.
Never gonna leave, Never gonna leave,
oh baby can I be your lady?
How am I supposed to tell you how I feel?
I need oxygen
[[Oh Baby, can I be your lady?]]
I will make you happy.
I will make you happy.
Im never gonna leave, Never gonna leave
[[Oh baby can I be your lady?]]
I am going crazy for you,
You dont wanna keep me waiting,
Staring at my fingers feeling like a fool
[[Oh baby can I be your lady?]]
I am going crazy
Im never gonna leave, never gonna leave
[[Oh baby let me be your lady]]
I will make you happy,
yeah-ohhhh
tell me what you want,
baby tell me what you need
anything I ask baby,
give it to me baby,
give it to me, give it to megive it to me, give it to me baby give it to me give it to me
These lyrics actually meant to have nothing to do with anything until I started highlight words and sentances I liked. Ohem gee....
Friday, February 1, 2008
Ella Ella Aye Aye Aye Aye
"It's so time for a new blog"
That's what I was thinking as I was trying to clean my dorm.
So here I am, fresh outta the shower, no makeup, relaxing in my new jeans on my bed, which is currently filled with stuff that needs to be sorted out. There's lots of stuff going on on campus tonight, but alas, no one to go with. Jakes outta town, Carrie & Becca too, Meghan....eh..... everyone's unavailble. Jake told me at dinner sometime ago his first term was exactly like mine, he stayed in cause he knew no one, but it got ALOT better his second term.
Heh. Second term, isn't that an interesting thought right now?
My last blog has not left my mind since the last thought spilled from my brain, to the keyboard, and I published it.
Maybe this just isn't me. I'm unhappy, I'm feeling like I'm wasting time and wasting money...what more convincing do I need?
I called Aunt Tammy & Aunt Sherry today, the source of all that is bright and wise ( and fun to :]) and after spilling who I am, what I'm not, and what I want to do with my life ( or moreso reitterated) they told me that simply as aunties they should tell me stick it out and go to college, but there are times when I must be told to follow my heart and make myself happy. If I leave, I can come back, if I mess up, I can fix it, and if I'm unhappy, I'm wasting time.
I need a few more pieces of advice before I runaway, but I'm thinking next term...I'm,
I'm not even going to say it. I'm just going to leave it at that...."Next Term I...."
On to more business.
I'm starting to realize Valentines Day is vastly approaching. I'm also, going to fully admit with all vulnerability, that I'm a little sad I'm single. I mean, it is a commercial holiday and I often try to make pleasent for all those around me, but it's always been the best feeling to share it with someone special. My creativity really comes out with those I love, especially my man, but maybe I'll just have to spoil Morgan this year :] lol.
*sigh*
Yah, that depressed me to. lol
I've been reletivly single since last February when I broke it off with Bryan. Ive dated here and there, had some crushes, but never had anything be successful. I guess I'm just looking in the wrong places, and I probably should just stop looking, but I miss having someone. Someone to share what I'm feeling with, laugh with, go out with, someone who wants to have me and is as thankful as I am to have him, someone to cook for, care for, and relax with, someone who will give advice, let me vent, and smile at me when I have my "blonde" moments, just someone. I'm a lover, I got a lot to give, and I just want someone to come, take my hand, and go with it. I realize committment is a hard thing to do in population of people who are ill-intentioned, dishonest, and selfish, but honestely, I would rather take the fall then not jump at all. Yah, I could get hurt, but I create a memory, a lesson, and eventually I will get back up. Regardless, I won't just pick the next person who comes my way, but Lord do I feel like I been waiting forever.
I got a fortune today :]
It said "Someone will pleasently surprise you soon."
Silly to look deeper into a fortune?
Maybe.
But I'm a silly girl. :]
Okay, none of this blog will probably make any sense except to me, but oh well.
Shan-nan-nah-nah.
That's what I was thinking as I was trying to clean my dorm.
So here I am, fresh outta the shower, no makeup, relaxing in my new jeans on my bed, which is currently filled with stuff that needs to be sorted out. There's lots of stuff going on on campus tonight, but alas, no one to go with. Jakes outta town, Carrie & Becca too, Meghan....eh..... everyone's unavailble. Jake told me at dinner sometime ago his first term was exactly like mine, he stayed in cause he knew no one, but it got ALOT better his second term.
Heh. Second term, isn't that an interesting thought right now?
My last blog has not left my mind since the last thought spilled from my brain, to the keyboard, and I published it.
Maybe this just isn't me. I'm unhappy, I'm feeling like I'm wasting time and wasting money...what more convincing do I need?
I called Aunt Tammy & Aunt Sherry today, the source of all that is bright and wise ( and fun to :]) and after spilling who I am, what I'm not, and what I want to do with my life ( or moreso reitterated) they told me that simply as aunties they should tell me stick it out and go to college, but there are times when I must be told to follow my heart and make myself happy. If I leave, I can come back, if I mess up, I can fix it, and if I'm unhappy, I'm wasting time.
I need a few more pieces of advice before I runaway, but I'm thinking next term...I'm,
I'm not even going to say it. I'm just going to leave it at that...."Next Term I...."
On to more business.
I'm starting to realize Valentines Day is vastly approaching. I'm also, going to fully admit with all vulnerability, that I'm a little sad I'm single. I mean, it is a commercial holiday and I often try to make pleasent for all those around me, but it's always been the best feeling to share it with someone special. My creativity really comes out with those I love, especially my man, but maybe I'll just have to spoil Morgan this year :] lol.
*sigh*
Yah, that depressed me to. lol
I've been reletivly single since last February when I broke it off with Bryan. Ive dated here and there, had some crushes, but never had anything be successful. I guess I'm just looking in the wrong places, and I probably should just stop looking, but I miss having someone. Someone to share what I'm feeling with, laugh with, go out with, someone who wants to have me and is as thankful as I am to have him, someone to cook for, care for, and relax with, someone who will give advice, let me vent, and smile at me when I have my "blonde" moments, just someone. I'm a lover, I got a lot to give, and I just want someone to come, take my hand, and go with it. I realize committment is a hard thing to do in population of people who are ill-intentioned, dishonest, and selfish, but honestely, I would rather take the fall then not jump at all. Yah, I could get hurt, but I create a memory, a lesson, and eventually I will get back up. Regardless, I won't just pick the next person who comes my way, but Lord do I feel like I been waiting forever.
I got a fortune today :]
It said "Someone will pleasently surprise you soon."
Silly to look deeper into a fortune?
Maybe.
But I'm a silly girl. :]
Okay, none of this blog will probably make any sense except to me, but oh well.
Shan-nan-nah-nah.
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