Ella Ella Aye Aye Aye Aye

"It's so time for a new blog"

That's what I was thinking as I was trying to clean my dorm.

So here I am, fresh outta the shower, no makeup, relaxing in my new jeans on my bed, which is currently filled with stuff that needs to be sorted out. There's lots of stuff going on on campus tonight, but alas, no one to go with. Jakes outta town, Carrie & Becca too, Meghan....eh..... everyone's unavailble. Jake told me at dinner sometime ago his first term was exactly like mine, he stayed in cause he knew no one, but it got ALOT better his second term.

Heh. Second term, isn't that an interesting thought right now?

My last blog has not left my mind since the last thought spilled from my brain, to the keyboard, and I published it.

Maybe this just isn't me. I'm unhappy, I'm feeling like I'm wasting time and wasting money...what more convincing do I need?

I called Aunt Tammy & Aunt Sherry today, the source of all that is bright and wise ( and fun to :]) and after spilling who I am, what I'm not, and what I want to do with my life ( or moreso reitterated) they told me that simply as aunties they should tell me stick it out and go to college, but there are times when I must be told to follow my heart and make myself happy. If I leave, I can come back, if I mess up, I can fix it, and if I'm unhappy, I'm wasting time.

I need a few more pieces of advice before I runaway, but I'm thinking next term...I'm,
I'm not even going to say it. I'm just going to leave it at that...."Next Term I...."

On to more business.

I'm starting to realize Valentines Day is vastly approaching. I'm also, going to fully admit with all vulnerability, that I'm a little sad I'm single. I mean, it is a commercial holiday and I often try to make pleasent for all those around me, but it's always been the best feeling to share it with someone special. My creativity really comes out with those I love, especially my man, but maybe I'll just have to spoil Morgan this year :] lol.
*sigh*
Yah, that depressed me to. lol
I've been reletivly single since last February when I broke it off with Bryan. Ive dated here and there, had some crushes, but never had anything be successful. I guess I'm just looking in the wrong places, and I probably should just stop looking, but I miss having someone. Someone to share what I'm feeling with, laugh with, go out with, someone who wants to have me and is as thankful as I am to have him, someone to cook for, care for, and relax with, someone who will give advice, let me vent, and smile at me when I have my "blonde" moments, just someone. I'm a lover, I got a lot to give, and I just want someone to come, take my hand, and go with it. I realize committment is a hard thing to do in population of people who are ill-intentioned, dishonest, and selfish, but honestely, I would rather take the fall then not jump at all. Yah, I could get hurt, but I create a memory, a lesson, and eventually I will get back up. Regardless, I won't just pick the next person who comes my way, but Lord do I feel like I been waiting forever.


I got a fortune today :]
It said "Someone will pleasently surprise you soon."

Silly to look deeper into a fortune?
Maybe.
But I'm a silly girl. :]


Okay, none of this blog will probably make any sense except to me, but oh well.

Shan-nan-nah-nah.